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Guy overshares because he has no friends


A man in a bar in St. Pete overshared to a group of people he didn’t know because he doesn’t have friends so he doesn’t know what’s socially appropriate.

Jenith Barzone, a computer software destructor, was hanging out in Coopers Copperbarrel Cocktail House and Brewery on 1st avenue, when he found himself at the bar drinking triple-IPAs by the dozen. After his 63rd beer he turned to the table next to him and said, “Lord of the Rings TV show on Prime is bonus town.” Which isn’t a very normal sentence.

He talked to the table for 15 minutes straight without them saying a word, and then after just continuing to drink and stare at the other table for a while he said, “Sorry I do this, I don’t have friends.” And that felt like the first authentic genuine thing he had said all night to connect with these people and they all looked at him for the first time and they saw him for who he was. A flawed human being just like all of them. And they related, and they appreciated his honesty and then they all had an orgy, and then he had friends, and then he didn’t have orgies anymore because people only like having orgies one time with guys they barely know then they don’t want to anymore, but the guys not bitter about it, at all! He was very grateful for the experience and he’s going to chase that high for a long time.

Sorry I just didn’t want to write this one. I’ve seen and done enough in my fake news career to realize when to call it, and this is one of those times. This is one of those times where I wrote a whole bunch of these in a row and you get burned out, and you’re not sure what ideas are good and which aren’t but can you fault me? It’s so subjective. It’s all on how well you can pitch it and tell it’s story.  What is the story of the story? That’s what I ask myself constantly. 

Is there a story in this story? Can things be layered? Both of those sentences are questions. That’s a fact.

Ok, I need to stop writing now, the doctor is waving me into his office, I’ve been waiting in the waiting room for a couple hours now, I just had a double appendectomy. I’m back at his office getting it checked on. So far so good, so fingers crossed everything is still cool. I’ll tweet out my medical results as soon as I get them.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds