Hangover turns out to be pregnancy

Belinda Mercurio, an ugly fat chick who’s a total piece of sh*t, thought she was hungover, but it turned out she was pregnant with triplets.

Mercurio, who really shouldn’t be on this planet, for a number of reasons, thought she was just dehydrated and dizzy because she consumed 48 White Claws the night before, however, after suffering contractions, and a surprise birth in the drive through of a Checkers, she learned that she was not suffering a hangover, and had actually been pregnant.

“I threw the kids into the garbage.” Said Mercurio, while smoking 3 Paul Maul cigarettes at the same time.

“I didn’t want ‘em so I chucked ‘em.” Shrugged Mercurio as she rolled her van window back up and drove off.

Mercurio was arrested later for stabbing a man at an Exxon station in Palmetto.

Mercurio is currently in the running for “Florida resident of the year” based off her recent activity, and when she was reached for comment, she spit on the audio recorder and flicked me off.

Belinda Mercurio also happens to be my ex wife.

She’s got nice eyes, you can’t help but fall for her tricks.

We had 6 children but she ate them. I told her not to, but she didn’t care, she just straight up ate them with no remorse.

This is the news.