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Immediate action needed immediately!

By TNF | August 31, 2022
Emergency




What are you doing right now? Well, stop it! This an emergency! All hands on deck! This is not a drill!!

Seriously, what are you doing???

  • Eating lunch? Put that sandwich down!
  • Filling out the monthly report? Save your work and resume later!
  • Binge-watching some show? He/she gets killed! Don’t worry about it!

This is serious! Today is the last day to vote for the 2022 Creative Loafing Best of the Bay Awards, specifically for Tampa News Force in the category of Best Experimental Act!

I told you it was a crisis!

It’s important that we win this award and we can’t do that without you. Why? No time to explain!! Just vote!!!

Okay, we didn’t want to say anything but the fact is that there is a small, adorable child, a boy or a girl or whatever, in the hospital right now who could die if we don’t win.

Actually, it might be a puppy. It might even be this puppy.

All right, they probably won’t die but us not winning won’t help them and us winning probably won’t hurt them. Don’t you want to not hurt the sweet, precious child or puppy in the hospital? Of course you do don’t.

So VOTE. If you’ve already voted, VOTE AGAIN. If you’ve already voted the max amount of times, get some more Yahoo or Gmail email addresses (THEY’RE FREE) and VOTE AGAIN! Come on! Go! Go! Go!

It’s the last ****ing day!!!

Yes, that’s it. Run! Run you fools!! Make haste in carrying out our bidding! Ha ha ha ha! Oops, I mean, thank you for your support.

PS: Abortion Twins are nominated in this category too. Don’t vote for them. They hate children and puppies probably. Plus, we asked them and they said it’s cool. You don’t need to ask them if that’s true. It is. Thanks, Abortion Twins!

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