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NOMINATE US!

BOTB22

The nominations for the 2022 Best of the Bay Awards, presented by Creative Loafing, are now open! Let’s just skip all the bullshit: We want an award and the only way we will get one is to first, get nominated and then second, get voted for. We’ll bug you about the second part later, but…

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Tampa News Force honored with Good Taste award

Toilet Destroyed

The National Society for the Advancement of Understatement and Decency (NSAUD) has awarded the Gold Ribbon of Superior Excellence to Tampa News Force (TNF) for refraining from using a popular photograph that has been circulating on the internet recently for the sake of a cheap and easy joke. The photo is of a toilet that…

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Goth girl adapts ‘Karen’ hairstyle ironically

Goth Girl

Annthrax Nightshade, a frequent visitor to The Castle in Ybor City has adapted the much-derided ‘Karen’ hairstyle as a form of sardonic social commentary. “I’m used to people prejudging me based on my appearance,” she said. “Here’s another reason to gawk at me, motherfuckers.” The hairstyle features an inverted bob or lob cut, also known…

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QUIZ: How likely is Will Smith to slap you?

Slap

Ever since Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars a couple of weeks ago, many people are very concerned that something similar could happen to them. Is this a realistic threat? Is it something we should be worried about at any level? Will the jokes about this incident EVER end? Take our quiz and…

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An incredible, $pecial opportunity for Mr. Elon Musk

Elon Musk

Dear Mr. Elon Musk, Hi. How are you? We are Tampa News Force and we have been following recent news reports that you are interested in purchasing Twitter for $43,000,000,000.00. We think that’s a fantastic idea! The only thing better than being prolific on a popular social media platform is owning a popular social media…

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Bunch of idiots stand in line for no reason

Bunch of idiots

Right now, there are a whole bunch of idiots standing in line at Amalie Arena, waiting for the doors to open at 6pm prior to tonight’s Tool concert. Some of these idiots have been in line since yesterday morning, when it was raining with temperatures in the low 40s. You can drive by right now…

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Tampa Police Ready to Receive Instructions From New Broad

TPD Chief Mary O'Connor

Tampa Mayor Jane Castor announced earlier today that former Tampa Police officer and deputy chief Mary O’Connor has been chosen to serve as the next chief of the Tampa Police Department (TPD), pending confirmation from the City Council. The selection doesn’t meet all of the criteria set by President Joe Biden, who had taken an…

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Rogue pedestrian crosswalk sign responds to commands

Crosswalk

The newly installed pedestrian crosswalk sign at the intersection of Morgan Street and Channelside Drive in downtown Tampa actually responds when the “push to cross” button is pressed… for now. “What?!? No!! That’s impossible!” said Tampa Director of Pedestrian Foot Traffic Jonathan Chillbrain. “Those buttons are supposed to pacify people waiting to cross streets, thinking…

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Partially treated Wastewater ranked more delicious than Aquafina

Water

A recent blind taste test conducted in Tampa concluded that the partially treated wastewater that gets dumped in Hillsborough river is more delicious than bottled water brand Aquafina. “What did you say this was?” Asked Michael Beech, one of the taste test participants.  “Partially treated wastewater,” said Shellard Pimblo, one of the organizers of the…

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