Skip to content

Monkey with typewriter accidentally brings Hitler back to life

I'm back!

That old saying if you put one hundred monkeys with typewriters in a room and they could write Shakespeare has been taken to a new level after a monkey with a typewriter has accidentally brought Hitler back to life.

Researchers at the Lowry Park Zoo were curious would would happen if they gave a monkey a typewriter, and after only one night with the typewriter, the researchers came in the next day to see a live Adolf Hitler inside of the monkey cage.

“We don’t know how this happened.” Said researcher #1.

“It doesn’t make any sense.” Said researcher #2.

“I’m Hitler.” Said Adolf Hitler.

Some have theorized that the monkeys incessant typing must have somehow ripped open a time portal which sucked Hitler through and brought him to present-day Tampa. There are currently no other theories.

“We’re shocked, but technically Hitler is not a monkey so we have no right to keep him in the cage.” Said Mike Zukiper, the zoo keeper who watched the monkeys.

“We let him free the next day because I mean, it was a human in the cage, and we’re not supposed to have humans in the cage. He ran as fast as he could and we don’t know where he went, but hopefully he doesn’t go back to doing the bad stuff he was infamously known for.” Shrugged Zukiper.

“Did you guys watch the security camera footage from the monkey cage to see exactly what happened during the night when he appeared?” Zukiper and the researchers all looked at each other.

“Oh, no we didn’t. That’s actually a good idea.” Said Zukiper.

I went with them to the security room to rewind the cameras and take a look.

It appeared that during the night, the typewriter transformed into some sort of time machine which brought Hitler through.

“We bought the typewriter from a thrift shop.” Said researcher #1.

“It may have secretly been a time machine which disguised itself as a typewriter.” Said researcher #2

“Ah, yea, that makes the most sense.” Said Zukiper.

Once the video finished playing the all walked away.

“So that’s it?” I asked.

“No conclusion or future plans to take action or figure out what exactly happened?”

“No.” Said Zukiper.

“We have to get back to our jobs.” Said researcher #1.

“Yea, I guess I do too.” I said.

So I went back to the office, and I’m sorry to say that I have no idea what happened after that and whether or not Hitler is in fact alive and is out in the world somewhere.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds