Mons Venus Adds Dog Park

The popular Tampa destination, Mons Venus, has expanded its footprint as part of the new Midtown Tampa development that looks to update the area around Dale Mabry Highway.

The Joe Redner owned strip club will now boasts a large and sprawling dog park with three sections: one for large dogs, one for small dogs, and one for dogs that like to get down.

“We want to cater to all those yuppie bastards that can’t help but take their dogs everywhere with them,” said Redner as he exhaled a giant cloud of weed smoke and shared his bong with me. “I saw this young college girl dragging her small dog around while trying to ride one of those scooters downtown, and I told her that if she came and danced at my place she could have the dog with her.”

Redner then invited me to the ribbon cutting ceremony for the park that was going to be attended by all of Tampa’s elite and famous citizens.

At the ceremony, guests exchanged their favorite Mons Venus memories while adding that they would have had more fun if they had their dog with them.

“Sometimes when I go to the [Mons Venus], I feel really dirty about it,” said Hillsborough County Commissioner Stacy White, who was in attendance to cut the ribbon and make it rain on some of the dancers. “Hopefully now that I’ve done enough to screw up transportation in Hillsborough County, less of the seedy people will show up here and it can just be me and my dogs.”

Commissioner White then smiled for a really long time and stared at me.

“Get it?” He said to me with a playful shove. “Me and my dogs. Seeing some tits.” He laughed at his own joke and then tried to explain that his lawsuit against All for Transportation will make it harder for poor people to get around and make Dale Mabry Highway more pleasant for folks moving to the new Midtown Tampa development.

The dog park is now open during the same hours of operations as the club.