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Plant abuse up among Tampa Bay residents

Covered Plants

The recent cold weather has exposed inhumane treatment by Tampa Bay residents.

Tampa Bay plantologist, Shelbert Herring, noticed people covering their outdoor plants with blankets. Herring remarked “this is only the first step. We can’t forget about the pillows. What about also offering them some hot cocoa?”

“Covering your plants with blankets without pillows can be traumatic. It is very dark and claustrophobic underneath there” Herring added. University of Florida agronomist Brook Clarkson feels we need a more comprehensive plan. “Did your parents read you a bedtime story without tucking you in?”

Yard plants are reportedly unorganized as a group, but they are very upset. They need a voice. Hopefully they will get some representation soon. “They at least deserve some of the small pillows from the airplanes,” added Herring.

Willie Harris

About Willie Harris

Willie Harris peaked in 1976 when he was voted Wittiest Guy in his high school. He has never said anything funny since then, but has continued to make dad jokes until today.