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State-of-the-art Clown College breaks ground on Water Street

Water Street – Hillsborough County – Thursday 3.14.2019

As construction continues on Jeff Vinik’s vision for Downtown Tampa, one of the most anticipated additions to Tampa’s skyline breaks ground.

“Unlike the other schools in this county, our students are actually going to be learning something useful,” says Clown College Dean of Admissions, Greg “Whompers The Clown” Mitchell. 

“Technology moves much faster than when I first started clowning, and with this facility we hope to encourage the next generation of clowns to do great things.” Mitchell asks me to smell a flower pinned on his shirt, I excitedly went in for a whiff but it sprayed me in the face with water. 

The new Clown College is modeled after the Viniks favorite clown and will be the fourth largest building in Florida when complete.

“When folks think clowns, they are going to be thinking Tampa,” says Hillsborough County Commissioner Rattail Indy.  “No longer will clowns be associated with murdered children, sharp teeth and balloons filled with blood.”

Indy then pulled out a clown nose from his pocket and handed it to me, “When you put this on, you too will have the clown power within you to do great things.”

Indy stared at me in a “please put the clown nose on” kind of way, but I resisted and thanked him for his time.

The new Clown College hopes to complete construction in time for the Fall 2020 semester. Students interested in becoming part of the inaugural class are welcome to drop off their clown audition tapes along with a check for $85 at the old abandoned Clown College behind Emperor’s Gentlemans Club on Adamo.

Josh Santos

About Josh Santos

Writer and award-winning videographer and documentarian. Instagram: @HashtagSantos