Skip to content






Surly barista hates serving your dog

Surly Barista




19-year-old Caroline Schwartz of Temple Terrace hates everything about her job at Starbucks, but really hates having to make ‘pup cups’ for patrons who have dogs.

“It’s bad enough that I have to do what people tell me, like, they’re better than me and I have to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ because I’m paid to do this or whatever,” she said.

“Millie just loves her puppuccino,” said Marie Costanza, the owner of Millie, a 3-year-old French Bulldog.

“Of course she loves it. It’s just fucking whipped cream,” said a visibly disgusted Schwartz. “What dumb dog isn’t going to love snarfing down a cup of fat and sugar?”

“Do you have any idea how long I had to train to do this dumb job that I don’t even want, to learn all the different drinks available on the menu?” she continued. “Only to have to spend hours every day squirting whipped cream into a cup for animals? It’s humiliating.”

Donald Pizer, a co-worker, doesn’t understand why she’s so unhappy. “I like serving the puppuccinos. It’s a nice distraction and the dogs are always so cute! Frankly, Caroline would be doing herself a favor if she’d take that giant stick out of her ass and enjoy herself a little.”

“Not all those dogs are cute and Donald is low-ambition idiot,” responded Schwartz

Clark Brooks

About Clark Brooks

Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force. Comedian, writer and ordained minister. ClarkBrooks.com. Twitter: @ClarkBrooks | Instagram:@ClarkBrooks54

1 Comments

  1. Avatar Nikole_Raven on August 18, 2022 at 7:41 am

    At least the dogs are more thankful than the human patrons.