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MLB installs Bitch Clock at Tropicana Field

Bitch Clock

Major League Baseball (MLB) is implementing a number of changes for the 2023 season, including rule changes, larger bases and a clock that will limit time taken between pitches. One of these changes will be specific to Tampa Bay Rays games at Tropicana Field. In order to facilitate complaints about the much-maligned domed home stadium…

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Rays outfielder offends certain Rays fans

Brett Phillips

Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Brett Phillips on and off-field antics have rankled a segment of loyal fans. “He’s obviously enjoying himself, just having the time of his life. And it’s all the time,” said longtime fan Hub Shitler of St. Petersburg. “That’s downright disrespectful to those of us who have made a tradition of being…

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Tampa Bay Sports Commission makes bid to host 2021 MLB All-Star Game

Following today’s announcement that Major League Baseball will relocate the 2021 All-Star Game and MLB Draft, originally scheduled to take place in Atlanta in July, the Tampa Bay Sports Commission has submitted a bid to host the events. “Yeah, whatever, it’s fine. We can do it”, said Rob Higgins, the organization’s executive director. “It’s no…

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Virtual sports fan is exhausted

virtual fan

A cardboard cutout intended to fill seats at Tampa Bay sporting events representing a fan who can’t attend due to restrictions resulting from COVID needs a vacation from sports. “It’s been a wild ride, for sure”, said the 2′ 6″ high x 1′ 6″ wide corrugated cardboard silhouette. “In less than five months, I’ve attended…

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Tampa Man Discovers Long Lost Tropicana Field

The Lost Trop

Fountain of Youth, Atlantis, Tropicana Field; Mythological destinations that have long been sought after by generations of explorers. Now, thanks to one such explorer, we rewrite the history books. Over the weekend the Legend of Tropicana Field has gone from gorilla in the mist to a pin on Waze, all thanks to Clive Raines. It…

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Tampa Bay Rays Forced to Limit Seating Capacity to 150%

The Tampa Bay Rays had a unit of sunshine cast upon them in the form of good news. With the fate of the entire baseball season in doubt amid negotiations between the millionaire players and billionaire owners, The MLB and MLB Players Association have dugout an agreement. Despite heated arguments, a worldwide pandemic, and their…

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