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Tampa General Hospital starts turning away “pussies”


After the passing of the “We’re over it act” in Florida’s legislation, Tampa hospitals are now allowed to turn patients away if they don’t believe they truly need the help. “Covid showed me what real pain and death is, and I’m over pretending to care about some kids wrist or whatever.” Said nurse Vicreesha Daniels.

“Some people can’t handle pain or any sort of issues in their lives, but it’s time they toughen up! We’re not your little babysitters!”, Daniels’ scolded.

Right then a man with half of his head blown off was rushed into the emergency room past our interview.

“Welp, I need to go deal with this.” She said politely exiting the interview.

After she left me unattended in the hospital I wondered around and started stealing a bunch of needles.

“I can use these!” I said to myself, filling my pockets with the steel injectors.

I got caught stealing the needles and had to put them back.

They said, “You’re lucky you’re a well dressed white guy, or we would probably call the police on you!”

I thanked them for being racist, then left the hospital on to my next articles for the day.

I had to go interview manatees that were in love with dolphins. I know, I don’t think it was that interesting either.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds