Tampa News Force Announces Viper Vision XFL Coverage Initiative

With the announcement of the Tampa Bay Vipers setting up shop in Plant City Stadium, Tampa News Force has partnered with the XFL to provide the latest happenings and most up-to-date news and information concerning the reboot of the XFL.  This new initiative has been dubbed Viper Vision and will keep fans in the loop on all the latest players, rules, stats, information and more.

While the NFL continues its slow and disappointing demise, the XFL has been working around the clock in Tampa Bay to provide viewers with a better-quality product starting February 8, 2020.

“We’ve been scouting every yard here in Plant City that’s had some pig skin tossing around,” said Tampa Bay Vipers head coach Marc Trestman. “Let me tell you, I’ve been impressed with what I’ve seen and I am excited for you to tell your readers about it.”

Trestman personally invited me on a tour of the new Tampa Bay Vipers football training facility which was recently upgraded with over $50 million in renovations.

“Thanks to Vince McMahon, we’ve been able to upgrade just about everything you see here. At first, we said we should look for something that is more football oriented than a barely used baseball field,” said Trestman.  “But Vince is a man of action, and action starts with gutting this baseball field and making it a football heaven.” 

We stood in the middle of Plant City Stadium, construction crews running around plastering the XFL logo on everything.

Suddenly an XFL football came flying at me and I caught it using my quick reflexes. 

“Wow you’ve got quite a mighty grip on you,” said Trestman, impressed with my catching skills. “You want to be a wide receiver for the team?”

I was taken aback by the question considering I am around 5’6” and have barely any stamina, I tried to explain I have also never played a full game of football and last time I tried to play I ended up crying to the coach because someone on the other team was actively trying to hurt me.  

“You’re going to have to use that energy, we need you out there on the field.”  Trestman said trying to comfort me.  “Besides, football is all about what you have in your heart.”  He pointed at my chest and smiled.

“I guess when you put it that way, I’ll do it,” I said enthusiastically.

“That is wonderful, I think you’re going to do really well here,” Trestman said before whistling very loudly and waving over a team of contractors who ran up to gather his instructions. He spoke very fast in broken Spanish, but the contractors understood and carried me away to a locker room.  It was there I was outfitted with a new state of the art XFL athletic uniform. 

I was also injected with a vial of glowing lime green goo that Trestman assured me was legal for the time being in the United States.

“This right here is the XFL juice,” Trestman said.  “You’re going to feel a slight pinch and pass out, but when you wake up you will be a part of something greater than you.  You will feel stronger, faster and more agile than you ever have.  Your vitality will skyrocket and every person you meet will envy you. You are no longer Josh Santos the Tampa News Force Viper Vision Reporter, no.  From now on you are El Vampiro, the football catching, wide receiving beast that will only know greatness.”

I awoke several hours later, strapped to a gurney. I was easily able to break free from the straps and began running at full speed towards the nearest restroom. After relieving myself and vomiting through the facemask on my helmet I looked at myself in a mirror. The uniform enhanced all of my normal human body functions and stretched my body to add about another foot to my height. 

“Is this really me?” I asked my reflection.

“You better believe that is actually you,” I heard a Trestman say from behind me.

I was startled and broke the bathroom sink I was leaning on.  I looked at my hands, trying to comprehend my newfound strength.

“I don’t understand,” I said to the Coach Trestman.  “How can this be?”

“You will find out soon enough, and so will your readers when the time comes,” Trestman said leading me down the hallway and towards a climate controlled locker room area with sleeping pods full of other genetically upgraded football players.  He tucked me in to my chamber and assured me he’d be back to get me on game day.

Stay tuned for the latest news on the Tampa Bay Vipers, only on Tampa News Force: Viper Vision.