Tampa Sex Club Forced to Shut Down Ass Eating Night

Due to unnecessary red-tape and regulation from the Democrats in Tallahassee, Ass Eating Night in the popular Tampa Bay Area Sex Club, Oxfords’ Sex Exchange, has been put on hiatus until further notice.

“Those bureaucrats in the capital need get out of the way,” said OSE owner and operator Lexman Hothman.  “Ass Eating Night is a staple of this community, and those pencil pusher DEMONcrats need to give us back our liquor license!”

Hothman then got violently aggressive, took me down by tackling my legs and then dragging me towards the nearest window. 

“My business won’t survive unless people come to my place and eat each other’s asses!” He yelled in my face while dangling me from the third story of the sex club.  “Any last words before I end your sorry ass?”

I thought about my entire life up until that moment, hanging upside down with the beautiful Downtown Tampa skyline in the distance.  The sun was setting, and I could feel Hothman’s arm starting to get tired.

“You can throw Ass Eating Night at my house!” I blurted out trying to cling to my only chance at survival.

“You want to hold Ass Eating Night in your apartment with your two cats?” Hothman asked me.

“Yeah you and your friends can come over, drop some tarp go to town!” I said desperately.

“Okay sounds like fun,” Hothman then brought me back into the club and I helped him pack some stuff and bring it over to my apartment.

Hothman texted a bunch of people to come over to my house but no one showed up.  So if you aren’t doing anything this Friday hit us up on the comment section down below.