Tom Brady has explosive diarrhea after eating bread

Former professional football player and semi-Tampa-resident Tom Brady suffered a bout of explosive diarrhea after eating his first slice of bread in 15 years.

The once beloved quarterback was filming an episode of his new Twitch series, “Tom eats poor people food,” when the bread did not agree with his stomach and he soiled himself during livestream.

The episode gained instant notoriety and the chatroom filled with over one million viewers, breaking a record for most people to ever watch someone have diarrhea. 

“I’m a winner, so everything I do is on a grand scale, and I’m happy I could get this record.” Said the CEO of Twitch, Thomathan Nathanielson.

“We strive for greatness and to have the so-called-GOAT of football bring us those kind of numbers is truly awe inspiring.” Nathanielson said.

Brady had a good sense of humor about the incident and referred to it in an instagram post where he said, “I’m used to getting the gold, but today I got the brown.” accompanying an image of some soiled trousers in his kitchen trashcan.

On the next episode of “Tom eats poor people food” he will be trying caviar and lobster, and while most people would consider those luxuries, Tom has assured his audience, that his level of wealth is so above-average, that “trust me, those foods are considered poor to me.”