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Journalist struggles with identity crisis

Tampa News Force journalist, John Jacobs, is currently going through a transition which has left readers stunned, shocked, confused, and laughing.

“I’m rich and I identify as rich, but I am stuck in a non-rich person’s body, so I am asking for donations to help me through this transition and buy this Burberry trench coat I really want.” Reads the GoFundMe page Jacobs set up in efforts to help him feel rich.

“I’m not sure what all the controversy is about.” Said Jacobs.

“I’ve put in the work, I’ve been performing live for over 15 years, I’ve been a producer of entertainment for 20 years, I’ve travelled the country and the world in an effort to bring joy into people’s lives, why do I not deserve to be rich? You need to ask the universe for what you want, and I’m simply manifesting my destiny in an unconventional way, I don’t understand why people are being so negative to me.” Jacobs explained with tears in his eyes from frustration of being misunderstood by the public.

“Some people say, ‘oh, it’s just a joke, but it’s not a joke if you’re taking money, there are people who deserve that more than you do, you just want some jacket and you want to be rich, that’s not a joke.’ There are fair points in that argument, many people deserve money over me, I’m not claiming I deserve money any more than anyone else, I’m just asking the world for help to get this trench coat and if you don’t want to help me, then that’s completely fine, you don’t need to go out of your way to be mean to me.” Jacobs said, now letting a few tears fall from his eyes, onto his non-Burberry garment he was currently wearing.

“People say, ‘it’s not a joke if he’s really asking for money and taking it!’ Why does that not make it a joke? You realize productions have budgets. Movies cost millions, Tom Holland isn’t really Spider Man, these are actors playing characters in a production. How is that different from this situation? If I received enough money to buy the Burberry trench coat, it would make the joke exponentially funnier. I’m baffled by the density of people who don’t seem to comprehend this. I know that there’s some sort of strange feelings of, ‘oh someone who’s already seemingly doing fine doesn’t need more’ It’s a very strange concept of people witnessing someone already great wanting more greatness and not being ok with it. I just don’t understand.” Jacobs composed himself and sniffled.

“I’ve spent countless years producing and giving for free and yet people still don’t want to see me enjoy the feeling of buying one fancy trench coat. That’s all I want to feel accomplished, and it would literally change my life. But it’s fine. I don’t hold any negative feelings towards people who actively hope my dreams do not come true because that’s just wasted energy. I pray for these people. I feel genuinely bad for them because somewhere along the way their dreams did not come true and their hopes did not manifest so they don’t want to see someone benefit from a creative concept like this. And that’s a shame. I wish nothing but success and wealth to everyone around me, as long as they have love in their heart. It could all be so simple yet people carry this negativity inside of them and are influenced subconsciously in ways they can’t even begin to unpack.”

It’s a joke.

The whole thing is a joke.

I thought it was funny, the idea of “identifying as rich” so I developed the concept into creating a serious GoFundMe along with the video associated with it, of me claiming to identify as rich. This is all very funny to me. And I ran it by multiple people who helped me develop it as well. The majority of feedback has been positive from people who get the joke, but for those that don’t, I’m sorry.  You’re allowed to think the fact that it’s a real GoFundMe is “not ok.”

I think it’s hilarious.

And WHEN, not IF, I get that coat, it will be even funnier.

Is my sense of humor worth one coat?

Am I funny and creative enough to figure out a way to bring this coat into my life?

I don’t think I ask for much. I don’t really ask anyone for anything. I love being independent and living in my own environment. I’ve given people opportunities and helped people develop their abilities and pushed people in positive directions. 

I think it would be nice to have this coat. That’s all.

Also, people have reached out because they think I’m actually in need of something, whether I’m broke, or mentally unwell, I’m totally fine.

Again, it’s a joke. I’m acting. It’s a slight parody of myself. I would not in all seriousness make a GoFundMe for a coat, but paired with the concept of identifying as rich, the entire production makes it hilarious to me. 

Alright, that is all! I love you all, enjoy your day, be happy, but most importantly, donate to my GoFundMe for this Burberry trench coat, because I identify as rich and this will help me take the first steps to coming into my new and true identity. Thank you. Every dollar counts. Imagine how good I will look and how confident I will feel. Remember when you felt those things? Well you can feel them again. Vicariously through me.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds