Skip to content

Twitter scam revealed to be Twitter scam

Elon Bullshit

On April 30th, Tampa News Force (TNF) announced that it had been granted a highly prestigious social media honor: the coveted blue checkmark from Twitter, which is supposed to designate the bearer as certified elite, special and not at all ordinary.

It turns out that was what financial and social media experts refer to as “bullshit”.

Celebrities, notable political figures and completely legitimate, non-government funded media outlets based in west central Florida in the 33602 zip code that were hand-picked by megalomaniacal Twitter owner Elon Musk or paid the fee of $8 for some unknown reason like TNF did have seen exactly no (0) benefits of any kind whatsoever.

“We really thought this would boost our public profile and social media presence”, said TNF Director of Smart and Reasonable Purchasing Tom Widdowstiff, who doesn’t know it yet, but is going to be fired as soon as this article is published. “Nope. That didn’t happen at all. Completely useless.”

SHOWN HERE: Graph that somehow indicates no noticeable increase in business numbers or something

“It’s almost as if Elon Musk is some kind of shyster who is wealthy due to circumstances over which he has no actual influence who may not be the genius some people think he is”, said Widdowstiff, who needs to start boxing up his belongings.

“At any rate, you’d better believe TNF is cancelling the Twitter Blue subscription immediately. I just hope it’s not too late to damage anyone’s reputation personally or professionally”, he added, too late for his own sake.