Posts by Marty Funkhouser
Joe Rogan to Lecture on Quantum Physics at USF
Tampa, FL—Joseph Robinette Rogan recently announced that he will be spending the next year as a visiting lecturer of Physics at the University of South Florida. His new comments about Einstein localities and hidden variables have brought controversy to the new hire. “Listen, man, what I care about are Einstein localities. Have you heard about…
Read MoreTommy Boyle forgot his lines in the school play and Twitter went IN
Wow, talk about an awkward silence. Last night 4th grader Tommy Boyle completely botched his lines for Parson Elementary’s Nativity Play, sending the Internet into a frenzy that is not coming down ANYTIME soon. His homeroom teacher said that he was “trying his hardest,” but it was plainly evident that Tommy did not have the…
Read MoreSomeone farted in the break room—Was It Eric Garcetti?
Tampa Bay, FL—Around 12:30pm EST, Kyle Majorie walked into the break room to microwave fish.“I want it to smell up the place. Let’s people know who’s boss. I am boss.” Mr. Majorie is not the boss. The boss, Mr. John Kelly, was out for the day on very serious business (Déjà vu Showgirls could not…
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