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Bucs loss forces Tom Brady to reconsider love

The Buccaneers tragic loss last night has forced star quarterback Tom Brady to reconsider the prospect of love.

“Maybe I’ve been focused on the wrong ring.” Tom said right into my eyes.

“I mean I have so many already, but I haven’t paid attention to the most important one.”

I then cried, reeling from the shared pain we were both experiencing.

“Why are you crying?” Tom asked.

“Because I know we both can’t have you,” I said, looking up now smiling as he wiped a tear from my cheek.

“I knew we could only spend so much time together I just didn’t think it would be so soon, remember the 2020 Super Bowl?” I asked, through my teary eyes.

Tom then left because I had freaked him out.

“The seasons over!” Said a guy from another article which you can find right here (Hey shit head intern, insert the link to the article here. And delete this sentence. I don’t want the readers to see how shitty I treat you. Even though you deserve it you sick dog. You’re a mess and you know it. Anyways, put link right here.)

The fans are now skeptical whether Tom is going to stick around or if he’s going to go back to human love.

“I just hope he does what makes him happy.” Said Galinda Maxwell, sister of Ghislaine Maxwell, who happens to live in Tampa and frequent Bucs games.

“He deserves happiness! Unlike my sister who was a total criminal and I’m happy is being dealt with appropriately.” Said Maxwell.

“I’m just happy to get away from all that mess and watch sports games. It’s like a never-ending thing hearing about the crimes against humanity that my estranged sister committed. We were not close! I promise! You can Google it I stand by whatever it says.”

Brady is expected to continue playing through the season then will revaluate his future. What that entails, nobody knows. Maybe recharging his crystals and stones under a harvest moon. We have no idea.

John Jacobs

About John Jacobs

MTV Reality TV Star and Award-Winning Tampa News Force Correspondent. Subscribe to YouTube Channel, Follow on Twitter: @MaybachDiamonds Instagram: @MaybachDiamonds


  1. Avatar Chris Humpherys on October 28, 2022 at 12:05 pm

    I just saw Brady on 7th in Ybor getting a “Bros Before Hos” tattoo.