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St. Pete man’s correct usage of current slang annoys granddaughter

Grandpa

16-year-old Megyn Morton of St. Petersburg finds herself in an almost constant state of aggravation because of her grandfather Henry “Hank” Morton’s accurate usage of currently relevant slang terminology. “About a month ago, my parents bought him an iPhone 13, which is newer than my iPhone 10, by the way,” she said. “The idea was…

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New park opens in downtown Tampa

New Park

Tampa’s latest downtown park has opened at the corner of Morgan Street and Channelside Drive, across the street from Amalie Arena. “Communication Park” occupies approximately two square yards of greenspace near the new Water Street development district and is dominated by a large round metal sculpture titled ‘COMMUNICATION’. “We think the art sends a powerful…

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Family learns about deceased patriarch from strip club marquee

RIP Larry Craper

The family of Tampa’s Larry Craper, husband, father, and grandfather, learned of his recent passing after seeing a remembrance message displayed on the digital marquee outside the 2001 Odyssey gentlemen’s club on Dale Mabry. “I just assumed he had left me. I didn’t know he was dead,” said his widow, Marlene Craper. “He’s done that…

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The ocean gets cancelled

Ocean

After an estimated 4.5 billion years of existence, the ocean is being cancelled on social media after a large group of people have continued to point out the atrocities the ocean has committed against humanity. The “Cancel the Ocean” movement has gained 65,000 digital signatures which means it has forced The White House to consider…

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Rogue cop plays by his own rules

RogueCop

Andrea Warren of Tampa was recently pulled over and cited for an illegal u-turn by a police officer while sitting at a red light on north Dale Mabry at Waters Avenue. The officer, who identified himself as Captain Donny SeRantis with a law enforcement agency he refused to identify, said, “When you flagrantly violate traffic…

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Cops find middle-aged white man so unhinged that he can’t have guns

Clearwater Man

Last Wednesday, Clearwater Police Department and the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office seized the guns of David Berry, who was seen on video being aggressive toward landscapers Jeremy Lee and his daughter while holding an AR-9 rifle earlier this month. On July 7, Berry confronted Mr. Lee and his daughter while they were trying to mow a…

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Arms dealers celebrate another successful year with boat parade

Boat Parade

In what has become a new Tampa Bay tradition, some of the world’s billion dollar corporations that manufacture and sell weapons systems to equip the brave men and women who protect our country by serving as troops in the military, as well as troops from any other countries with an established line of credit, held…

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Paid parking spots in Ybor cause spike in suicides

Parking Suicide

“It’s all we had left.” Read the last words of a note left behind by Trina Daniels, a resident of Ybor City. The new pay-to-park street spots in Ybor have been tied to dozens of recent suicides according to the final words of the unfortunate victims who succumb to the new depression of government greed.…

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Dunedin woman loves Mexico and Mexicans today

Cinco de Mayo

Stephanie Ragnarok of Dunedin gets excited on May 5th every year and this year is no exception. “It’s Cinco de Mayo, baby!” she said. “Party like a chihuahua! Mexican civil war! Wooooo!” Cinco de Mayo is a yearly celebration held on May 5, which commemorates the anniversary of Mexico’s victory over the French Empire at…

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