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Family avoids holiday stress by committing suicide

The Haperdeen family, Jacob, Camille, and their two children Rudy and Melton, have decided to avoid the stress of future holidays, by committing suicide as a unit. “Buying gifts, wrapping gifts, driving family from the airport, having those get-togethers with our extended families, it’s just too much!” Said Jacob Haperdeen. “So we’ve agreed, it would…

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Odessa family installs mass shooting victims pool


The Menando family, who lives on Gunn Highway in Odessa near Tampa may have the most unique swimming pool in the state of Florida: it’s in the shape of the aftermath of a mass shooting. “It’s actually four separate pools and they’re supposed to represent us; me, my wife Brenda, our son Kevin and our…

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Tightest escorts in Tampa Bay

If you’re looking for an escort in Tampa, odds are you’re going to prefer one that has a tight vagina. Some people think a tight vagina feels better for sex. So if you’re looking for an escort with a good grip on her snatch, these are the ones to seek. Lexa She’s got a real…

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Clearwater man anticipates huge tax break

Gas Stove

Rodney Wyhyte of Clearwater plans to take full advantage of a new tax loophole created by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis in order to fight wokeness. ““What I have said is we have people that say under climate change, that gives them the right to regulate and control everything people do. And we reject that in…

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Masturbation in public parks now legal for one hour per day

Curtis Hixon Park

A new addendum has certified that masturbation in public parks is now legal for one hour per day, every day of the week. After a 6-3 vote by the Tampa Parks Authority, exposing sexual organs in public for self gratification is now legal from 8-9pm every night, as long as it’s within park limits. The…

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Tampa police unveil new cum sniffing dog

Cum Sniffing Dog

The TPD have welcomed a new cum sniffing dog named Clyde to the force, who is the first of a new breed of a dog specifically raised to smell cum. “Sex criminals leave semen and usually it’s hard to find, but now not only can dogs sniff it out, but they can identify who’s semen…

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Dunedin man suffers brain trauma over time change

Doug Beadle of Dunedin suffered a significant brain injury this morning, trying to understand Daylight Savings Time which ended early Sunday morning. “I was fine; in fact, I felt great after that extra hour of sleep last night,” he said from his bed at Mease Dunedin Hospital. He was sitting at his kitchen table at…

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Unmonitored drag strips in Tampa

Drag race

If you live in Tampa you’ve thought about drag racing. These are the best strips to drag on which are the least monitored. RuPaul’s RuPaul’s Drag Race is one of the best places to drag race. It’s got lights and a sturdy stage, you will really like it. East 56th street and Montcler Lane This…

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