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Gators to Build Casino on Preservation Land

Gator Casino

Citing the fact that they have been around since before the US government was formed, a coalition of alligators have announced their plans to open one of the most lawless casinos in Florida. “GRRHHHHHHH,” grumbled one of the hungry-looking alligators during a recent press conference. Along with every kind of regular gambling that is currently…

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Seminole Hard Rock casino changes name to Las Fake-ass

West Tampa – Hillsborough County – Thursday 4.11.2019 As expansion continues on Tampa’s Seminole Hard Rock Casino, owners have decided to rebrand and change the name. “We have everything Vegas has except legal prostitution, but it’s not illegal if you don’t get caught,” chuckled one employee as he put a cigarette out on a cocktail…

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Special Promotion Places Hard Rock Casino Slot Machines in Hospital Rooms

Tampa General Hospital – Hillsborough County – Wednesday, 2.13.2019 A uniquely different promotion is currently underway at Tampa General Hospital, as the Seminole Hard Rock Casino has sponsored the temporary placement of slot machines in hospital bedrooms. Patients will now have 24/7 access to slot machines from the touch of their hand. Large casino-grade machines…

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