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St. Pete man ready to start being afraid of children

Grant Ligwitz of St. Petersburg has come to the realization that he might be at the point in his life where he should start being afraid of children. “I’m not old by any means, but I’m also not getting any younger,” he said. “I’m 38!” He said the idea occurred to him on a recent…

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Line of books from Mike Huckabee in no way intended to groom children

Kids Guide

American politician, Baptist minister, and political commentator Mike Huckabee, who served as the 44th governor of Arkansas, is touting a line of children’s literature designed to educate but in no way indoctrinate or unduly influence them in any way. “The mainstream media has been no friend to President Trump, and they’ll never admit that he…

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Super-talented baby creeps out parents

Talented baby

Little Amy Pleebler, an exceptionally gifted musical prodigy at two years old, is intimidating her parents, Bob and Wendy. “She sings like a perfect angel and even plays the piano a little bit. She knows, like, chord progressions and shit,” said Wendy. “How? How?!?” “It’s just so weird the way she’s good at stuff”, Wendy…

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State Fair’s racing pigs replaced with lost children

Racing Kids

One of the Florida State Fair’s most popular attractions, the famous racing pigs, is undergoing a major change; from now on, the pigs will be replaced with children who wander off from their parents. “The racing pigs are an institution, no question”, says D’Roy Roggleton, owner and operator of the venerable attraction. “We’ve been part…

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