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Dunking booth clown cancelled

Today is the grand opening of the annual Strawberry Festival, also known as “like the State Fair, only better” but regular visitors may notice a conspicuous absence from this year’s festivities: no dunking booth clown. Scuzzo The Clown, who has been berating carnival goers with insults to frustrate or motivate or both for years, has…

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State Fair burns down after giraffe queefs

Giraffe queef

The State Fair was shut down after Lucy the giraffe released vaginal flatulence which caught fire due to the new fire breather freak show exhibit being pushed closer to the giraffe enclosure due to budget cuts. The gaseous ball of flame engulfed the entire tent in fire within moments, luckily Lucy, all the other animals,…

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New deep-fried items coming to this year’s state fair

Attendees of this year’s Florida State Fair in Tampa can look forward to sampling some brand-new deep-fried food items. Garth Darthworth of the National Novelty Food Association of North America says, “We had a great convention this year, with our very creative vendors unveiling some really exciting new concepts, in addition to the old favorites.…

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