Ybor Brewing releases limited “Shoe Licker IPA”
Ybor Brewing – Hillsborough County – Thursday, 2.21.2019
Ybor Brewing has announced an official release date for its much anticipated “Shoe Licker IPA,” an homage to the infamous Ybor “Shoe Licker.”
“It was a long time coming,” said Seth Spltiner, brew-master over at Ybor Brewing. “We all know who he is, we’ve seen him for years, it might be a bit of a novelty, but his resiliency definitely shines through, and you can tell he has a good heart, and he’s become a bit of an unofficial mascot of our city, so he deserves a beer.” Seth takes off his welders mask to reveal a face tattoo of a chicken.
“What’s with the chicken?” I brashly ask.
“Oh, it’s an Ybor chicken. I told you, I love this city.” He shakes my hand and looks into my eyes and we share a moment of admiration and mutual love for our hometown.
The extremely limited-edition IPA will feature a palette of tastes that would best represent the experience the shoe licker has when he licks the bottom of your shoe.
“We went with a lot of earth tones.” Seth explains. “Deeply fermented hops, to create a sort of ‘dirty street’ feel, kind of a gravelly, unsanitary taste you’d imagine you’d experience licking the bottom of a man’s shoes in Ybor.”
The release event is expected to draw a large crowd of craft beer connoisseurs, however the man highlighted in this event, the shoe-licker, will not be allowed to attend.
“Yea, no chance we’re letting that guy into our brewery,” Said Michael Flunch, owner of the brewery, as he crossed his arms. “He’s fun to see in passing, a quick ‘hi, how ya doing,’ but we can’t have him in the brewery during business hours. He’s going to make the guests feel uncomfortable.” Michael drops his case-less iPhone and it shatters on the ground. “Fuck!” He says. He bends down to collect the pieces as he laughs to himself. “Maybe that’s the karma I get for not wanting the man we’re trying to benefit off of into my establishment during his own release party!” He shrugs and tosses the phone pieces into the garbage can. “It’s fine, my dad will buy me a new one.”
The Shoe Licker IPA, aka the “feel it in your sole sunshine brew,” will be 6.5% alcohol by volume, and will only be available during the last week of the month, and during the launch event. After that, it will be up to the blackmarket to decide it’s street price and begin an underground movement of limited craft brew distribution.
The officially launch event will be held in the emptied out premises of Hamburger Mary’s on Friday starting at 3pm.
Fuck this owner and his shitty attitude. The shoe licker once had a normal life before his parents tossed him out and he became homeless. How can you try to benefit off of someone and not have some type of profit go to the man you’re naming a beer after. Fucking pathetic.
It’s really sad to see this, his name is Jamie and he has a lot of health issues. He’s also on drugs and stays drunk and high to keep his sanity. How about the brew company instead of insulting ybor city and the community get Jamie dome help.
I am disgusted by this. Jamie is a good person. He deserves royalties for this at the very least. This is fucked.
“My dad will buy me a new one”
Classic…..things a grown man should never say.
Y’all do know that this is a joke article, right?
How do we know?
This is beyond fucked up. Clearly Jamie has a menatal disability. For a business to profit & exploit his condition shows zero class. Fuck Ybor Brewimg Co
Protest if this is true
I really hope this isn’t true… because this is fucked up. Making fun of someone who clearly has some issues. Give him 25% of the sales in way of a hotel room and some food everyday. If you love your city, you’d help the man. Apparently your father needs to kick your ass too. Pathetic.
????????????????????????????
There is not such thing as Ybor Brewing. There is Ybor City Brewing but they brew Ybor Gold. This is fake.
Guys, this is a satire site. Not meant to be taken seriously.
Who ever wrote this article is a real piece of shit. I ask you come forward and show your face on the bottle so we can call out your flaws and disabilities you may have. I suggest you take your so call humor and bring it to better use to grow community.
If the guy wasn’t retarded he never would have licked shoes you abliest fks.
I want to know if your child was black trans disabled how would you feel.
Oh man this comment section is hilarious.
A percentage if not ALL of the profits need to go to Jamie’s mental health care. He is a sweet soul with mental health issues and capitalizing off of his struggles and life is not moral and very wrong. We need to start a petition.
The people responding and commenting like this article is for real are possibly the dumbest people in Tampa Bay. Congrats to Tampa News Force for exposing the truly stupid in Tampa.