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Plant abuse up among Tampa Bay residents

Covered Plants

The recent cold weather has exposed inhumane treatment by Tampa Bay residents. Tampa Bay plantologist, Shelbert Herring, noticed people covering their outdoor plants with blankets. Herring remarked “this is only the first step. We can’t forget about the pillows. What about also offering them some hot cocoa?” “Covering your plants with blankets without pillows can…

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Cold Front Leaves Tampa Man Paralyzed in Middle of Street

Cold Front in Tampa leaves man paralyzed

While many around the Tampa Bay area celebrated today’s chilly weather, Saxy Raffleson was left crippled and fighting for his life while trying to cross Nebraska Avenue. “I was crossing the street and then this guy dressed in a blue full-body suit came up behind me and hit me in my lower back with a…

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Arctic survival gear spotted as Bay Area temperatures turn cold-ish

Downtown Tampa, Sunday, 1.20.2019 A cold front from Canada has rolled into the Tampa Bay area, something which happens every year and lasts for about nine days, causing temperatures to dip into the 50s. As a result, local residents have been spotted wearing extreme cold-weather gear appropriate for research expeditions to the polar ice caps.…

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