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Angry God expected to rain out minor league baseball game

God, the revered, reviled, feared, ineffable, unpredictable and misunderstood supreme Christian deity, is very angry that the Tampa Tarpons have a female manager, according to a self-appointed human spokesperson.  “The Almighty takes a dim view of this kind of abomination,” said Delores Shtiffy of Seffner, referring to Rachel Balkovec, the first female manager in the…

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Lakeland man unsure about visiting website

Hot Totz

Clinton Dilson of Lakeland has found a website that intrigues him but he’s afraid to actually click the link. “It’s and I’m not exactly sure what kind of content there is,” he said, his right index finger hovering over the left-click button on his mouse. “Could be food, specifically spicy tater tots, or it…

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Tampa Bay Vipers sponsor snake orgy


“Typically, a fan fest consists of opportunities to meet the players, take pictures, get autographs and buy tickets and merchandise. I thought, ‘if we can’t do that, what’s the next best thing?’ and the answer is obvious: a bunch of snakes having sex!”

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Land O’ Lakes/Lakeland begin formal talks over who ripped off who

Lakeland and Land O Lakes hold formal discussions to find out who ripped off who

The two towns of Land O’ Lakes and Lakeland have opened up a formal dialogue between local committees over which town officially ripped off the other towns name. “It’s clearly just our town’s name reworded,” Said Clyde Dale, resident of Lakeland. “We named our town Lakeland because it’s a land of many lakes, then those…

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