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Both St. Pete mayoral candidates are huge cowards

Ken Welch and Robert Blackmon are the final two candidates for the November 2nd general election that will eventually seat the next mayor of St. Petersburg, and while they may have different ideas about how best to fulfill that obligation, they both share the distinction of being huge cowards. Three weeks ago, Tampa News Force…

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Protestors seek to cancel Grand Prix

Grand Prix of St. Petersburg

A group of protestors attempted to disrupt Indy Pro 2000 qualifying at the Firestone Grand Prix of St. Petersburg this morning in an attempt to get the event cancelled. “We’re huge fans of Indy racing itself but the name of the race is highly offensive”, said Thad Talbert of St. Pete. “We just want to…

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City of St. Pete introduces mobile vaccine distribution unit

Vaccine Truck

As the country prepares for the distribution of a COVID-19 vaccine, St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman, has come up with a creative way to get the treatment out locally. “Some people are vehemently opposed to getting the vaccine and that’s an issue. But nobody is opposed to food trucks”, he said. “People love those stupid…

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Mayor Kriseman asks protesters to utilize ‘call ahead’ seating

Protesters

As protests continue in St. Petersburg, with more expected this weekend, Mayor Rick Kriseman is taking steps to lower tensions and minimize unpleasant confrontations between diners, protesters and counter-protesters. “It’s perfectly understandable that people are outraged by the ongoing systemic racism in our society, as most recently evidenced by the outcome of the trial of…

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St. Pete welcome sign moved to Pass-a-Grille Beach

St. Pete welcome sign

The 75-foot tall welcome tower that has stood at the west end of the Howard Frankland Bridge on southbound I-275 has been relocated to Pass-A-Grille Beach. The sign, donated at a cost of $600,000 by local businessman Bill Edwards in 2012, had to be removed to accommodate an extensive project by the Florida Department of…

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Mayor Kriseman announces statue initiative in St. Pete

At a press conference in the ballroom of the the St. Petersburg Hyatt, mayor Rick Kriseman announced a bold and comprehensive new plan to address the recent trend of statues of historical figures being toppled, associated with demonstrations of civil unrest taking place across the country. “Legos”, he said. “Thanks for coming.” As he started…

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