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St. Pete man conducts own sleep study

Sleep Study

Herb Clamstraddler of St. Petersburg has been compiling data from a sleep study he has been conducting on himself for the last six weeks and is now prepared to share his results. “First of all, I would like to express my appreciation to the media and esteemed members of the scientific community for being here…

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St. Pete woman convinced she has direct influence on local economy

Economy

Denise Bazugas of St. Petersburg firmly believes that her spending habits have a noticeable and measurable impact on local businesses. “‘Get Woke, Go Broke’ is an economic principle I believe in and support,” she said. “If you put a rainbow-colored ‘BLM’ sticker on your front window, I will not patronize your establishment and you will…

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Top 5 Tampa Bay Swingers Clubs

Everyone knows that Tampa Bay is an adult entertainment wonderland. From the many world infamous “gentlemen’s clubs” to the self-storage facilities used for shooting low-budget pornography to whatever the hell is going on in Drew Park (home of Thee Love Shack, Fantasylands I and II, various auto repair shops and daycare centers among other random…

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Both St. Pete mayoral candidates are huge cowards

Ken Welch and Robert Blackmon are the final two candidates for the November 2nd general election that will eventually seat the next mayor of St. Petersburg, and while they may have different ideas about how best to fulfill that obligation, they both share the distinction of being huge cowards. Three weeks ago, Tampa News Force…

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St. Pete man’s dying words express regret for getting vaccinated

Dumb Old Bastard

Eddie Mulmswood of St. Petersburg passed away yesterday and used his last words to say that more than anything else, he wished he’d never gotten vaccinated against COVID. “You would have thought his greatest regret was getting drunk and walking into traffic on a Thursday afternoon”, said his son-in-law Jerry Oyler. “I mean, since he…

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