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Taylor Swift Fires Jane Castor After Accepting Mayorship

In a stunning turn of events, the newly appointed Mayor for the City of Tampa has fired the democratically elected mayor.

“When I asked Taylor Swift to be our mayor for a day, I thought it would a fun photoshoot opportunity,” said Castor as she cleaned out her desk. “The last thing I expected was for her to turn around and fire me immediately.”

Mayor Swifts first act included sweeping changes to Tampa’s executive branch, she fired every department head and replaced them with Eras Tour ticket holders.

“We’re going to make some changes around here,” said Mayor Swift during a press conference. “I’m approving a budget that includes a Raymond James Stadium Residency.”

For the next six months, Taylor Swift will perform every night for free.

“We’re going to fuck up traffic for the foreseeable furure, and it’s not going to get better when it’s over,” promised Mayor Swift.

The new mayor then introduced the new head of the Tampa Police Department, a 12 year old girl named Susie.

“I’m really excited that I like get to hold a gun,” said Susie before her parents called her and told her she needs to be home before sundown. Following suit, Mayor Swift announced that most of the Tampa government workforce will be replaced with teen girls aged 12-17.

Mayor Swift hopes that having a new set of women in power will help Tampa residents achieve lower rents, lower insurance rates and safer streets.

Josh Santos

About Josh Santos

Writer and award-winning videographer and documentarian. Instagram: @HashtagSantos


  1. […] and her shows for the past two weeks. We gave her the key to the city. Then we escalated things by giving her my job and making her the mayor of Tampa. None of that was enough. It didn’t satisfy her. If […]