Jackson House Seems to Be Repairing Itself

The Jackson Rooming House, the historic boarding facility in downtown Tampa that provided accommodations to African-Americans during the era of racial segregation, including legendary entertainers like Ray Charles, Ella Fitzgerald and Count Basie among others, appears to be regenerating all by itself after years of neglect.

“I drive past it every day and today something seemed different,” said Carl Milkus, who works in downtown Tampa. “It took me a minute but then I realized it doesn’t look like the next stiff breeze is going to bring it to the ground.”

The building, which was originally constructed in 1901, is showing signs of suddenly improved structural integrity as well as fresh paint and other enhancements on its east side.

“Well this is problematic. We’ve been waiting for that dump to fall down so we could add another 10-15 parking spaces to the empire,” said Carol Crockwise, a senior management person with 717 Parking Services, the company that owns the immediate surrounding property, a situation that has severely hampered efforts to refurbish the building. 

“That is, um, we think it’s great that such a culturally significant historical landmark will no longer be an eyesore and source of embarrassment and shame for Tampa,” she added quickly. “But still: fuck.”

Local architect and historical building expert Dan Fwipzwich has a theory.

“It’s entirely possible the building has achieved a level of sentience and has developed some kind of Deadpool/Wolverine mutant healing factor DNA as a means of self-preservation. Buildings do that sometimes,” he said. “Just kidding. that can’t happen but it would be cool if it did. I don’t have any other answers.”

“Wait; is it possible some misguided, troublemaking delinquents are sneaking in there and making unsanctioned repairs?” queried Crockwise. “Err, I mean next-generation civil rights activists dedicated to preserving an important part of history.”

“Fuck,” she added.