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Trans ableist micro aggression triggers Taylor Swift fans


Swifties are up in arms after a Trans woman committed an ableist micro aggression in the comment section of Taylor Swifts newest music video “Cum Lover” on YouTube. Comments under the hit new video ranged from praise and love to love and praise and lots of talk about how hard it has been to get…

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Tampa woman claims to “hate” Girl Scout cookies


A woman in Tampa has taken an extremely rare and unpopular stance on one of America’s most beloved traditional institutions: Girl Scout Cookies. “I hate those things,” said Misty Ocean, a fax machine operator at FaxPro, a company that faxes stuff. “Especially Thin Mints,” she said, doubling down for some dumb, unnecessary reason. Asked why…

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Guy overshares because he has no friends


A man in a bar in St. Pete overshared to a group of people he didn’t know because he doesn’t have friends so he doesn’t know what’s socially appropriate. Jenith Barzone, a computer software destructor, was hanging out in Coopers Copperbarrel Cocktail House and Brewery on 1st avenue, when he found himself at the bar…

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5 ideas you should not act on

We all have ideas, I guess. Some you should act upon, and others you should not. Here are 5 ideas you should never act on. Hurt people Sometimes your brain will say “Hey, maybe I should hurt that person.” But you shouldn’t. Unless that person has a knife to you and is telling you they…

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Hyde Park un-gentrifies: opens Popeyes

Hyde Park Popeyes

City developers have begun phase 1 of un-gentrifying South Tampa by opening a Popeye’s in the center of Hyde Park. “This is the worst idea the city has ever had.” Said Penelope Doosche, life-long resident of Hyde Park. “Poor people make my skin hurt, and my eyes water when their around, so this is pretty…

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Sweet Sixteen Ruined by IPA Release

Craft Beer

As 16-year-old Molly Johnson eagerly anticipated her Sweet Sixteen party, she never could have predicted that it would fall on the day that a nearby Tampa Heights brewery would release the highly anticipated Hopfucker Quintuple IPA. “I can’t believe this fucking shit is happening,” Molly said, tears streaming down her face. “My fucking Sweet Sixteen…

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St. Pete man glad that grooming is now frowned upon


Rich Glombcroft of St. Petersburg is relieved that most people take a dim view of grooming now days. “I’ve been telling people for years that brushing your teeth, clipping your toenails and washing your hair as well as your whole body is not only a waste of time but a crime against nature,” said Glombcroft…

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Dunedin bails on the whole ‘Scotland’ thing


Following a 4-1 vote by the Dunedin City Commission last night, the city has decided to discontinue their long association with Scotland. “That’s enough already,” said Mayor Julie Ward Bujalski. “Visitors didn’t understand it and locals seemed to be getting tired of it. So, that’s that.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gaelic language. Plaid. Bagpipes,” said Commissioner…

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Tampa man forgets how to read


Keith Stumpler of Tampa has forgotten how to read. “I was someplace and a show was on TV in the bar. It was too loud to hear so they had the subtitles turned on. I looked at them to follow the story and realized I didn’t know what all the squiggly characters were and what…

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