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City enjoys first day of no traffic since 2018

Aside from the many negative impacts Hurricane Ian had on the entire state of Florida, and in-turn, the country, there was at least one positive. No traffic in Tampa for one day after Hurricane Ian. “It was like driving to heaven.” Said Bobby Evans, about driving on Dale Mabry at 2pm. “It felt like Tampa…

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Effort underway to preserve historic Jeter House

Jeters

Upon news breaking that the new owner of the former Davis Island home of Derek Jeter has filed a commercial demolition permit with the intent of tearing it down, local activists have launched an initiative designed to preserve the property as is. “When you think about who has lived here, the cultural and historic significance…

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Trans person not that mad about being misgendered

Trishelle Albeta, a female who was born male, was accidentally misgendered at a 7-11 attached to a Chinese restaurant in Riverview, but was not offended. “I get it, I look kind of like a man still, I’m not that great at make up yet.” Said Albeta, while peeling a banana and taking a large bite…

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White couple in Tampa Heights loves their African-themed bedding

Duvet set

Todd Ginfey and his live-in girlfriend Rachel Bloorb recently purchased the African American Pretty Girl Duvet Cover Set Queen Size, 3-Piece Bedding Set with Zipper Closure and Corner Ties from Amazon.com for their loft in Tampa Heights. “I gotta say, this ethnic blanket really helps me sleep better,” said Todd. “Because my conscience is clearer.”…

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717 Parking owner spotted trying to topple Jackson House

Eye witnesses are claiming that Jason Accardi, President and CEO of 717 Parking Services Inc., was recently seen trying to knock over the historic Jackson Rooming House in downtown Tampa by leaning against it, a charge he vehemently denies. “Yeah man, he was pushing hard against it and grunting, ‘Come! On!’”said Jasper Heaves, one of…

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Hunting licenses issued to thin invasive realtor herd

Realtor hunting

For the first time in history, the State of Florida has begun issuing hunting licenses for people to hunt down and kill realtors. “About damn time,” said Harold Kinter of Tampa. “I’ve been shooting at these varmints for years. Now I can do it without worrying about getting in trouble.” The increase over the last…

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Tampa Police donate guns to Amish

Armed Amish

Following a successful Gun Buy Back event, the Tampa Police Department announced that they will be donating all the weapons they collected to the Amish community down in Sarasota. “Don’t think of it as us taking guns off the streets; we’re just putting them on streets that are traveled by horse-drawn buggies instead of cars,”…

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Top 10 places in Tampa to bust a nut

Nuts

Nut Cracker Factory The Nut Cracker Factory on Westhore and Himes boulevard offers patrons the opportunity to crack as many nuts as their hearts desire for only $9.99. You can bring your own nuts, or for varying prices you can purchase nuts at the facility Bayfront Park Bayfront Park down Nutnut Cove Parkway is home…

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Florida now most expensive state to get a happy ending

Unhappy Ending

With the rise of rent here in Florida, the everyday worker’s has gone up as well. While this has hit every industry from food service to pharmacists, the biggest drain on our wallets has to be happy endings after a massage.  The cost of a happy ending used to be somewhere around $80 here in…

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