Posts Tagged ‘Brandon’
World Axe Throwing League cruelly gives false hope to Brandon man’s athletic dreams
After watching the World Axe Throwing League (WATL) on cable television, a long-dormant glimmer of hope for becoming a professional athlete someday has been awakened within Kevin Thwort of Brandon, a man for whom any realistic chances of that ever happening died many, many years ago, if they ever existed at all. “You know, when…
Read MoreStrip club that looks like warehouse is both
A new gentleman’s club that looks like a warehouse on Adamo Drive between Tampa and Brandon has joined the ranks of gentleman’s clubs that look like warehouses on Adamo Drive between Tampa and Brandon. The difference is that this new establishment actually serves as both. “Welcome to Partz!”, said owner/DJ Neon Cleon when we showed…
Read MoreNew restaurant for singles opening soon in Brandon
A new chain of restaurants is opening their first location in Brandon, Florida, because that’s where every chain of restaurants opens new locations for some reason. Lonely’s is a new concept eatery, catering exclusively to people who are alone, whether by choice or not. It will serve a menu with a wide variety of top-quality…
Read MoreTop 5 Tampa Bay Swingers Clubs
Everyone knows that Tampa Bay is an adult entertainment wonderland. From the many world infamous “gentlemen’s clubs” to the self-storage facilities used for shooting low-budget pornography to whatever the hell is going on in Drew Park (home of Thee Love Shack, Fantasylands I and II, various auto repair shops and daycare centers among other random…
Read MoreNew 656 area code for Hillsborough County goes into effect today
As more and more people continue moving to Florida, resources are being spread thinner and thinner. One of those resources: telephone numbers. There are too many people to accommodate with the standard 813 area code. In response to the-ever growing population, the Florida Public Service Commission is launching a new area code, 656, for Tampa…
Read MoreBrandon resident kind of confused by popular new catchphrase
Phillip McGooley of Brandon does not understand the meaning behind a catchphrase that has become increasingly popular lately, nor how he’s expected to respond to it. “I get that it’s a positive thing, meant to show support for or perhaps inspire Brandon”, he said. “And that’s great. But are they talking about the town where…
Read MoreNew Bay Area business offers inexpensive makeovers for children
For centuries, parents of unattractive children have struggled for a solution to their plight. Now KidWrap, a new company out of Brandon has come along with what may be the solution! “It’s pretty simple, really,” said owner Brad Floont. “Much like wrapping a motor vehicle, which consists of several huge vinyl decals that are applied…
Read MoreBaddest M*th*r F*ck*r In The Valley waits patiently in line for a chai vanilla latte and a butterscotch scone
Chad Corey, who holds the title of “Baddest Motherfucker In The Valley” as proclaimed by a t-shirt he was wearing at the time, was seen recently at the Just Love Coffee Cafe in Brandon, waiting patiently in line to order some breakfast items. “He ordered a vanilla chai latte and a butterscotch scone. At no…
Read MoreBrandon dad laments abrupt passing of gas shortage
Kevin Sxinxst of Brandon is sad that the recent ransomware attack on the Colonial Pipeline that shut it down for six days and caused widespread gas station outages in the Southeast is apparently over already. “Oh man, this sucks,” he said. “I have a supply of jokes that would have lasted for months!” “I don’t…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis knows his way around places where men gather to seek anonymous gay sex
“As somebody who used to drive 95 up and down this congressional district and driven all over the state, I know my way around rest stops and service stations.”
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