Posts Tagged ‘Brandon’
New Bay Area business offers inexpensive makeovers for children
For centuries, parents of unattractive children have struggled for a solution to their plight. Now KidWrap, a new company out of Brandon has come along with what may be the solution! “It’s pretty simple, really,” said owner Brad Floont. “Much like wrapping a motor vehicle, which consists of several huge vinyl decals that are applied…
Read MoreBaddest M*th*r F*ck*r In The Valley waits patiently in line for a chai vanilla latte and a butterscotch scone
Chad Corey, who holds the title of “Baddest Motherfucker In The Valley” as proclaimed by a t-shirt he was wearing at the time, was seen recently at the Just Love Coffee Cafe in Brandon, waiting patiently in line to order some breakfast items. “He ordered a vanilla chai latte and a butterscotch scone. At no…
Read MoreBrandon dad laments abrupt passing of gas shortage
Kevin Sxinxst of Brandon is sad that the recent ransomware attack on the Colonial Pipeline that shut it down for six days and caused widespread gas station outages in the Southeast is apparently over already. “Oh man, this sucks,” he said. “I have a supply of jokes that would have lasted for months!” “I don’t…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis knows his way around places where men gather to seek anonymous gay sex
“As somebody who used to drive 95 up and down this congressional district and driven all over the state, I know my way around rest stops and service stations.”
Read MoreTNF Super Bowl LV Prediction Preview: Today will be the most Tampa day in the history of Tampa
We’re either going to celebrate or whatever the opposite of celebrate is, but no matter what, tonight Tampa is a verb as well as a noun and we are going to Tampa like we have never Tampa’d before.
Read MoreBrandon man to spend weekend preparing for MLK Day social media competition
Todd Plumeley of Brandon plans to spend the whole weekend searching Google for the perfect Martin Luther King Jr. quote in an effort to win this year’s annual Martin Luther King Jr. Day competition between white people to be held on social media platforms this Monday. “I’m very passionate about this. I’m not even going…
Read MoreUber Eats driver is most trusted healthcare professional in Tampa Bay
A recent poll of consumer satisfaction trends indicates that Ryan Milger, a delivery driver for Uber Eats, is considered the most trustworthy healthcare professional in the Tampa Bay region. “You can’t trust doctors and nurses these days,” says Beverly Rimsworth of Dunedin. “Doctors make money from people being classified as being sick. Food delivery drivers…
Read MoreTampa Chick-fil-A will be pilot for new Blood of Christ red velvet milkshake
“…we’ve been trying to find a way to really bring people closer to God with our food. We’ve wanted to do this for a long time and I figured if this pilot in Tampa is successful we can roll these out nationwide just in time for Easter.”
Read MoreBrandon, Seffner, Valrico combine as one community named “Three Amigos”
Brandon, Seffner, and Valrico have merged to create a new community named, “Three Amigos.” The local governments of each county were participating in a intramural kickball league, when after running through 15 cases of Michelob Ultra, they voted unanimously to become one community that would share all the benefits they each individually reaped. “Valrico’s got…
Read MoreEvery Building in Brandon Now Sells Alcohol
Beef O’ Brady’s – Hillsborough County – Thursday 3.8.2019 Brandon has officially been added to the elite list of 36 cities nationwide that have a population where every single building in the region sells alcohol. “I can’t believe we made it,” says middle school teacher and part-time basket weaver, Becky Long. “We’ve always had a…
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