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Clearwater man pulling all kinds of hot chicks via game on his phone

Word Nerd

Jay Bagre of Clearwater is attracting a lot of attention from beautiful women because he plays the popular game “Words With Friends” on his phone. “It’s unbelievable! All these beautiful women reaching out to me through this game because of my vocabulary skills”, he said. “That extra year of English for Academic Purposes I took…

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Clearwater man never speaking to his grandpa again

Grandpa

Due to frustration he experiences while trying to communicate, Mike Dumbar of Clearwater has declared that he is never going to speak to his grandfather again. “I was trying to teach him about cryptocurrency and he just refuses to listen to me,” said Dumbar. “I told him that cryptocurrencies will eventually replace the dollar and…

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Clearwater man advocates for Super Bowl becoming official holiday

Craig Shoomaker of Clearwater firmly believes that the Super Bowl, the annual championship of the National Football League, should be declared a federal holiday.  “It just makes sense; it’s a day when we all come together and celebrate,” he said. “Isn’t that what holidays are for?” He gestured to the people gathered at the Super…

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Top 5 Tampa Bay Swingers Clubs

Everyone knows that Tampa Bay is an adult entertainment wonderland. From the many world infamous “gentlemen’s clubs” to the self-storage facilities used for shooting low-budget pornography to whatever the hell is going on in Drew Park (home of Thee Love Shack, Fantasylands I and II, various auto repair shops and daycare centers among other random…

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Clearwater man keeps falling for moon prank

Moon

Dean Arrword of Clearwater is tired of being the victim of what he describes as a cruel prank. “Every time I see someone’s Facebook status that says, ‘OMG, go outside and look at the moon RIGHT NOW!’, I do it. I run right outside and look up,” he said. “And every time, it’s the same…

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Rick Scott scheduled to perform at Clearwater Marine Aquarium

Dolphin Show

US Senator Rick Scott of Florida will be replacing Winter the Dolphin on a temporary basis at the Clearwater Marine Aquarium. “Winter was beloved by children everywhere, many of whom are visiting Florida for the holidays,” said Scott. “And since her unfortunate and untimely passing, probably at the hands of Joe Biden… although I have…

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Britney Spears just wanted to visit Winter the Dolphin

Britney

Finally freed from the constraints of a conservatorship that restricted her access to her finances and even basic life decisions, among the first things pop star Britney Spears had planned on doing was visiting Clearwater to visit Winter the Dolphin. “The ‘Dolphin Tale’ movies were among the few I was ever allowed to watch,” said…

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