Posts Tagged ‘Clearwater’
Fugitive who destroyed US currency apprehended in Clearwater
Brad Rimshaw, 42 of Clearwater, a man who committed a federal crime 34 years ago surrendered peacefully to authorities yesterday. “Okay, okay, you got me! Don’t shoot! I am not resisting arrest. I repeat, I AM NOT RESISTING ARREST!” he shouted to Clearwater Police officers Edward Wambaugh and Joseph Conlon who were in the process…
Read MoreThanksgiving tough for Clearwater man with willfully limited vocabulary
Dave Quipler, a 26-year-old man from Clearwater, struggles every year during Thanksgiving due to how he expresses himself. “It all started when I was a toddler,” he says. “For some reason, I don’t even know myself, I just said ‘Happy Assholes’ instead of ‘Happy Thanksgiving’. No real reason; just one of those dumb things little…
Read MoreTampa News Force Special Undercover Investigative Report: Laffing Lizzie’s
In order to bring you, the Tampa Bay Area community, the kind of hard-hitting investigative journalism you deserve, sometimes we send writers undercover to check things out and file reports on what they find out. By “undercover”, we mean we go there without telling them why we’re there. That’s what we did yesterday with an…
Read MoreClearwater woman threatens to give less than her usual 65% at work today
Amber McCambister, a sales clerk at Robust Businessmakers Inc. in Clearwater has to work today, Labor Day, and is not happy about it. “This is bullshit”, she said. “Everybody in the world has the day off today, except for me and hospitality workers, emergency service providers, some medical professionals, people who work in agriculture and…
Read MoreCops find middle-aged white man so unhinged that he can’t have guns
Last Wednesday, Clearwater Police Department and the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office seized the guns of David Berry, who was seen on video being aggressive toward landscapers Jeremy Lee and his daughter while holding an AR-9 rifle earlier this month. On July 7, Berry confronted Mr. Lee and his daughter while they were trying to mow a…
Read MoreClearwater man pulling all kinds of hot chicks via game on his phone
Jay Bagre of Clearwater is attracting a lot of attention from beautiful women because he plays the popular game “Words With Friends” on his phone. “It’s unbelievable! All these beautiful women reaching out to me through this game because of my vocabulary skills”, he said. “That extra year of English for Academic Purposes I took…
Read MoreClearwater man never speaking to his grandpa again
Due to frustration he experiences while trying to communicate, Mike Dumbar of Clearwater has declared that he is never going to speak to his grandfather again. “I was trying to teach him about cryptocurrency and he just refuses to listen to me,” said Dumbar. “I told him that cryptocurrencies will eventually replace the dollar and…
Read MoreLargest mobilization of emergency services in Clearwater history responds to small fire
A fire at a medical marijuana dispensary in Clearwater last Thursday resulted in an unprecedented urgent response from local emergency service providers. “All units, all units. Be advised, there’s a fire at a weed store on 19. This is it, everybody! The big one! All y’all! This is the one we’ve all dreamed of. Everybody…
Read MoreSociety still reeling from unprecedented display of bad behavior that isn’t even that unusual
Two weeks after Will Smith slapped Chris Rock on live television at the Academy Awards, many people are still having difficulty processing what happened and the sudden monumental impact the incident will have on society, in spite of the fact that people have been behaving like ill-tempered savages for centuries. “Yeah, I still can’t believe…
Read MoreClearwater man advocates for Super Bowl becoming official holiday
Craig Shoomaker of Clearwater firmly believes that the Super Bowl, the annual championship of the National Football League, should be declared a federal holiday. “It just makes sense; it’s a day when we all come together and celebrate,” he said. “Isn’t that what holidays are for?” He gestured to the people gathered at the Super…
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