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Britney Spears just wanted to visit Winter the Dolphin

Britney

Finally freed from the constraints of a conservatorship that restricted her access to her finances and even basic life decisions, among the first things pop star Britney Spears had planned on doing was visiting Clearwater to visit Winter the Dolphin. “The ‘Dolphin Tale’ movies were among the few I was ever allowed to watch,” said…

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Manatee Carcass Buffet Opening in Clearwater Beach

Manatee Buffet

In an attempt to capitalize on the influx of starvation-related manatee deaths, the host of “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” has decided to invest in a Clearwater Beach restaurant that specializes in cooking manatee meat. “We take every manatee death very seriously here at Trevor Noah’s Manatee Carcass Buffet,” said head chef Bobby Suflex.…

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Clearwater woman’s mask violates office dress code

Denim mask

Lisa Hooverville, a clerk at United Clerk Services Co. in Clearwater, was sent home early this past Thursday for violating the office’s dress code because of the denim face mask she was wearing. “There’s a very strict rule about having to wear masks and I fully support that. I live with my grandmother and her…

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Hot tub retailer in Clearwater observes 20th anniversary of national tragedy with hot tub sale

Duck

Spa Manufacturers, Inc., a company that makes and sells hot tubs and swim spas in Clearwater is commemorating the solemn occasion of remembering the four coordinated terrorist attacks carried out by al-Qaeda, an Islamist extremist group, that occurred on the morning of September 11, 2001, which killed 2,977 people, including 412 emergency workers, with a…

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Store owner in Clearwater issues his own Milk Crate Challenge

Crates

A convenience store owner in Clearwater is getting involved with the latest viral phenomenon by putting his own fun twist on the Milk Crate Challenge. “If I catch any of you little pricks stealing milk crates from my store, I will put my foot straight up your ass”, said Mike Zipowitz, owner of three ZipMart…

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Clearwater man dies surrounded by loved ones. And Jerry.

Jerry

Steve McAndrew of Clearwater passed away recently after a long illness, surrounded by friends and members of his family, and this guy named Jerry. “It’s tragic and I’m devastated but we’re glad he’s finally at peace”, said McAndrew’s widow Sharon. “If I had one wish, aside from it happening at all, of course, it would…

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Anti-vax bar in Clearwater offering incentives to potential customers

Jenny Mc's

In response to nationwide efforts to motivate more people to get vaccinated against Covid-19 by offering perks like free donuts, beer, gift cards and entries into special lotteries offering cash prizes and scholarships, one bar in Clearwater wants to reward people who don’t get vaccinated. “Here at Jenny Mc’s, we cater to people who do…

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