Posts Tagged ‘Clearwater’
Clearwater ophthalmologist specializes in niche clientele
Are your eyes this bad? đ
Read MoreClearwater man “accidentally” forgets to zip pants for 25th time this year
Gary Phrenger, an associate at Robust Paradigms Inc. in Clearwater has now somehow “forgotten” to zip up his pants after using the restroom at work 25 times since 2023 began. “Aw, come on, Gary,” said co-worker Dennis Flavors, observing the special occasion. “Again, man? Again??” “Huh?” responded Phrenger looking down at his crotch. “Ha ha!…
Read MoreTrump endorses Clearwater pizzeria
Former or current President of the United States Donald Trump has offered his enthusiastic support of Sonny’s Pizza, a small pizza and subs shop in Clearwater. “He approached us, not vice-versa, which is wild,â said owner Tim “Sonny” Schwartz. “Apparently he called lots of pizza places in Florida before reaching us. I guess we got…
Read MoreClearwater man anticipates huge tax break
Rodney Wyhyte of Clearwater plans to take full advantage of a new tax loophole created by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis in order to fight wokeness. ââWhat I have said is we have people that say under climate change, that gives them the right to regulate and control everything people do. And we reject that in…
Read MoreFugitive who destroyed US currency apprehended in Clearwater
Brad Rimshaw, 42 of Clearwater, a man who committed a federal crime 34 years ago surrendered peacefully to authorities yesterday. “Okay, okay, you got me! Don’t shoot! I am not resisting arrest. I repeat, I AM NOT RESISTING ARREST!” he shouted to Clearwater Police officers Edward Wambaugh and Joseph Conlon who were in the process…
Read MoreThanksgiving tough for Clearwater man with willfully limited vocabulary
Dave Quipler, a 26-year-old man from Clearwater, struggles every year during Thanksgiving due to how he expresses himself. âIt all started when I was a toddler,â he says. âFor some reason, I donât even know myself, I just said âHappy Assholesâ instead of âHappy Thanksgivingâ. No real reason; just one of those dumb things little…
Read MoreTampa News Force Special Undercover Investigative Report: Laffing Lizzie’s
In order to bring you, the Tampa Bay Area community, the kind of hard-hitting investigative journalism you deserve, sometimes we send writers undercover to check things out and file reports on what they find out. By “undercover”, we mean we go there without telling them why we’re there. That’s what we did yesterday with an…
Read MoreClearwater woman threatens to give less than her usual 65% at work today
Amber McCambister, a sales clerk at Robust Businessmakers Inc. in Clearwater has to work today, Labor Day, and is not happy about it. “This is bullshit”, she said. “Everybody in the world has the day off today, except for me and hospitality workers, emergency service providers, some medical professionals, people who work in agriculture and…
Read MoreCops find middle-aged white man so unhinged that he can’t have guns
Last Wednesday, Clearwater Police Department and the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office seized the guns of David Berry, who was seen on video being aggressive toward landscapers Jeremy Lee and his daughter while holding an AR-9 rifle earlier this month. On July 7, Berry confronted Mr. Lee and his daughter while they were trying to mow a…
Read MoreClearwater man pulling all kinds of hot chicks via game on his phone
Jay Bagre of Clearwater is attracting a lot of attention from beautiful women because he plays the popular game “Words With Friends” on his phone. “It’s unbelievable! All these beautiful women reaching out to me through this game because of my vocabulary skills”, he said. “That extra year of English for Academic Purposes I took…
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