Posts Tagged ‘Clearwater’
Britney Spears just wanted to visit Winter the Dolphin
Finally freed from the constraints of a conservatorship that restricted her access to her finances and even basic life decisions, among the first things pop star Britney Spears had planned on doing was visiting Clearwater to visit Winter the Dolphin. “The ‘Dolphin Tale’ movies were among the few I was ever allowed to watch,” said…
Read MoreManatee Carcass Buffet Opening in Clearwater Beach
In an attempt to capitalize on the influx of starvation-related manatee deaths, the host of “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” has decided to invest in a Clearwater Beach restaurant that specializes in cooking manatee meat. “We take every manatee death very seriously here at Trevor Noah’s Manatee Carcass Buffet,” said head chef Bobby Suflex.…
Read MoreClearwater woman’s mask violates office dress code
Lisa Hooverville, a clerk at United Clerk Services Co. in Clearwater, was sent home early this past Thursday for violating the office’s dress code because of the denim face mask she was wearing. “There’s a very strict rule about having to wear masks and I fully support that. I live with my grandmother and her…
Read MoreHot tub retailer in Clearwater observes 20th anniversary of national tragedy with hot tub sale
Spa Manufacturers, Inc., a company that makes and sells hot tubs and swim spas in Clearwater is commemorating the solemn occasion of remembering the four coordinated terrorist attacks carried out by al-Qaeda, an Islamist extremist group, that occurred on the morning of September 11, 2001, which killed 2,977 people, including 412 emergency workers, with a…
Read MoreStore owner in Clearwater issues his own Milk Crate Challenge
A convenience store owner in Clearwater is getting involved with the latest viral phenomenon by putting his own fun twist on the Milk Crate Challenge. “If I catch any of you little pricks stealing milk crates from my store, I will put my foot straight up your ass”, said Mike Zipowitz, owner of three ZipMart…
Read MoreQUIZ: Where should you live in Tampa Bay?
Are you thinking of packing up and leaving that shithole you call home and moving to the Tampa Bay Area? Good call! But where is the best place within this slice of Heaven On Earth for you? Take our quiz and find out!
Read MoreClearwater man causes massive traffic accident to make point against CRT
Reggie Tantzler of Clearwater is being charged with causing a three-car accident on US-19 for the purpose of proving his argument that the teaching of Critical Race Theory (CRT) is not only unnecessary but detrimental. “Look, I just feel that we can’t move forward until we forget about the past, okay?”, he said from the…
Read MoreClearwater man dies surrounded by loved ones. And Jerry.
Steve McAndrew of Clearwater passed away recently after a long illness, surrounded by friends and members of his family, and this guy named Jerry. “It’s tragic and I’m devastated but we’re glad he’s finally at peace”, said McAndrew’s widow Sharon. “If I had one wish, aside from it happening at all, of course, it would…
Read MoreClearwater man who spent most of the last year unemployed super-psyched for three-day weekend
Brent Mleeb of Clearwater is really looking forward to the extended Memorial Day weekend. “Ugh, I have just been grinding so damn hard”, he said. “I need to cut loose, relax and party. It’s long overdue!” Mleeb, who was furloughed from his job at a call center located in a Clearwater office park last June…
Read MoreAnti-vax bar in Clearwater offering incentives to potential customers
In response to nationwide efforts to motivate more people to get vaccinated against Covid-19 by offering perks like free donuts, beer, gift cards and entries into special lotteries offering cash prizes and scholarships, one bar in Clearwater wants to reward people who don’t get vaccinated. “Here at Jenny Mc’s, we cater to people who do…
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