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“Open corruption” initiative takes effect in government


A new initiative amongst the entire government encouraging its employees to be “open and honest about corruption” has officially gone underway. “All politicians on every level are now required to be honest about the dishonest things they do in penalty of being fired.” Said Debrah Demoykins, speaker of the Government Regulations Organization, a group I…

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DeSantis pet conspiracy blogger Kyle Lamb hires assistant

DeSantis Lamb

Noted conspiracy theorist, Uber driver and sports blogger Kyle Lamb, recently hired by Governor Ron DeSantis as a data analyst on COVID-19 research, has hired his own assistant, Ashley Lindsay, a USF student majoring in art history.   “She’s hot, isn’t she?” said Lamb, in lieu of a more professional introduction. “Ronny said I could…

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Uber Eats driver is most trusted healthcare professional in Tampa Bay

A recent poll of consumer satisfaction trends indicates that Ryan Milger, a delivery driver for Uber Eats, is considered the most trustworthy healthcare professional in the Tampa Bay region. “You can’t trust doctors and nurses these days,” says Beverly Rimsworth of Dunedin. “Doctors make money from people being classified as being sick. Food delivery drivers…

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Alex Jones opens muffin shop on 7th Ave

Alex Jones opens muffin shop

Controversial web show host Alex Jones had a soft opening for his new muffin shop “Conspiracy Cakes” on 7th avenue in Ybor yesterday. The bakery features an assortment of goods that come with conspiracy theory brochures attached, ranging from the JFK assassination debriefings attached to a lemon marang pie, all the way to a flip…

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