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Rick Scott shares New Years kiss with fleshlight

Former disgraced Florida Governor, and current Florida Senator, Rick Scott, was caught sharing a New Years kiss with a fleshlight, during a party a the Senators mansion. “Yea he just walked out during the countdown with this dripping sex toy, then gave it a big tongue kiss when the clock hit zero. It was pretty…

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Babies #MeToo politicians who kissed them

Baby Me Too

A group of babies led by one child prodigy who is able to speak and communicate with other babies despite being only 3 months old, have begun cancelling the politicians who have kissed them against their will at campaign rallies. “Just because our parents have held us out towards the politicians does not imply consent.”…

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Governor DeSantis caught buying meth from Andrew Gillum

Previously beloved Governor Ron DeSantis was caught on Saturday buying crystal meth off of former gubernatorial opponent Andrew Gillum by an off duty police officer who happened to witness the transaction in the back of a 7-Eleven in Ruskin. “I was filling up my cruiser and I saw the Governor and former candidate behind the…

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