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Trump too smart to fall for DeShenantisanigans

Pull My Finger

As division widens between top Republican leaders former President Donald Trump and recently re-elected Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, tensions between the two men on a personal level are rising. At a recent “We’re In This Together Breakfast & Lunch But Definitely Not Brunch Because That’s Gay” event held at the prestigious Denny’s on Dale Mabry…

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Dignitaries invited to be honored at TNF 2000th Article party

Party Guests

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and Florida Senator Rick Scott have been invited by Tampa News Force to appear at the TNF 2000th Article Celebration / Free Beer Estate Sale Costume Contest, this Sunday, October 30th at Café Hey in Tampa for the sake of being presented with special meritorious achievement awards. The following was sent…

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School resource officer shoots kid reading gay book

Gay Book

A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading Lesléa Newman’s 1989 classic picture book ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’. “I was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,” said officer Frank Johnnie. “At first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…

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Sex With Pregnant Women Now Illegal in Florida

No Sex With Pregos

Now that life begins at conception, sex with pregnant women will be considered sexual battery on a minor. “New and expecting parents will be required by law to sign a form stating they didn’t engage in any sexual contact after discovering the pregnancy.” Said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis during a press conference where he signed…

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DeSantis places restrictions on Kate Bush music

Kate Bush

Due to being featured prominently in the popular Netflix series Stranger Things, the Kate Bush Song “Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God),” originally released in 1985, is a chart-topping hit again. “Yeah, and I’m sick of it,” said Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “Damn song is everywhere, all the time.” For that reason, among…

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Man terrified to wear mask at DeSantis press conference

DeSantis Threat

At a press conference earlier today in Nassau County where Florida Governor Ron DeSantis spoke about his ongoing plans for infrastructure improvements around the state, one man in attendance felt unsafe wearing a face mask. “I wanted to put it on, just to be careful because it was fairly crowded in there. I figured, ‘what’s…

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DeSantis not sure what to do about Juneteenth

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is experiencing anxiety in anticipation of the upcoming Juneteenth holiday, which takes place on June 19th and commemorates the anniversary date of the June 19, 1865, announcement of General Order No. 3 by Union Army general Gordon Granger, proclaiming freedom for enslaved people in Texas “This one is tricky,” he said. “How do…

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Tampa News Force acquires naming rights to former Outback Bowl

Bowl Game

The annual New Year’s Day college bowl game played at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, formerly known as the Outback Bowl, has a new name: the Tampa News Force Gay Pride Logo College Football Bowl. Bowl officials announced the four-year agreement Thursday afternoon during a ceremony at the Sunoco Station at the corner of Nebraska…

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