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Florida Announces Free Trans Youth Summer Camp

As part of the new Parental Rights Act, the Florida Legislature celebrated the opening of a special campground for trans children.  “This new program is going to help us finally eradicate the woke plague that is infecting the TikTok youth,” said Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis. Students in the Florida public school system will be subject…

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Florida residents united in annoyance

Emergency Alert

Residents throughout the state of Florida woke up at 4:45am this morning after receiving an alert on their cell phones from the Florida Division of Emergency Management. “THIS IS IT! THE DRAG QUEENS ARE COMING FOR OUR GUNS! BURN SOME MORE BOOKS!!” screamed Tim Wigsworth of Brandon upon hearing the unsettling tone from his phone.…

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DeSantis glad that lent is finally over


With tomorrow being Good Friday, heading into the Easter weekend, today marks the end of lent, the 40-days beginning with Ash Wednesday during which many Christians observe a period of fasting, repentance, moderation, self-denial, And few are more relieved that it’s ending than Florida governor Ron DeSantis who abstained from using the N-word. “I can…

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DeSantis fixes controversial sculpture


Following an incident for which a Tallahassee private school’s principal was forced to resign due to parents complaining that a photo of Michaelangelo’s Renaissance masterpiece sculpture of David being shown to students was “pornographic”, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has taken it upon himself to remedy the situation for the benefit of all concerned. “There. All…

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DeSantis DeNounces ‘Woke Baseball Classic’, Declares USA Winner

Last night in Miami, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis issued a proclamation honoring the team representing the United States in the recently completed World Baseball Classic as the rightful winners of the global tournament. “I don’t care what the scoreboard said, baseball is America’s game, America is number one and America is the winner,” he said,…

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DeSantis visits local Thigh restaurant

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis visited Tampa yesterday for the express purpose of dining at Si-Am Thaimerican Restaurant on Franklin Street downtown. “Man, do I love some good Thigh food. The authentic stuff, like the Thigh people make in Thighland. Pad Thigh is probably my favorite. I also like Thigh Spring Rolls, Thigh Salad, Thigh-style Chicken…

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Trump endorses Clearwater pizzeria

Former or current President of the United States Donald Trump has offered his enthusiastic support of Sonny’s Pizza, a small pizza and subs shop in Clearwater. “He approached us, not vice-versa, which is wild,” said owner Tim “Sonny” Schwartz. “Apparently he called lots of pizza places in Florida before reaching us. I guess we got…

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How to $tick it to Tampa News Force

Stick it to TNF

In an obvious effort to curry favor with poor, put-upon, tough-as-nails-yet-apparently-thin-skinned Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Florida Senator Jason Brodeur (R-Lake Mary) has introduced “Senate Bill 1316: Information Dissemination“, which would require any blogger writing about government officials to register with the Florida Office of Legislative Services or the Commission on Ethics. Brodeur, who you may…

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