Posts Tagged ‘sports’
New Florida License Plates
Which one are you securing to your whip?
Read MoreI don’t want to write this story about children’s genitals
Sometimes journalism requires writing the stories that are unpleasant to write.
Read MoreTop 5 Conditioned Responses
Which one is your most conditioned response? 🙎
Read MoreDeSantis Announces Teen Menstrual Blood Collection Program
In an effort to ban trans youth from playing school sports, teen girls will now be forced to personally supply Florida Governor Ron DeSantis with a vial of menstrual blood every month. “It’s the only way to make sure that no chicks with dicks are taking advantage of the sacred pastime that is school sports,”…
Read MoreNew chain of sports bars for ladies slated to open in Tampa Bay
A brand-new chain of sports designed to appeal to families, and focusing on women, opened yesterday with their first location in Brandon. “Welcome to Queef O’Brady’s,” said owner and manager Tommy Wiffleballz. “The first sports bar by men for women to watch sports played by men and eat chicken wings served by women.” “This is…
Read MoreWorld Axe Throwing League cruelly gives false hope to Brandon man’s athletic dreams
After watching the World Axe Throwing League (WATL) on cable television, a long-dormant glimmer of hope for becoming a professional athlete someday has been awakened within Kevin Thwort of Brandon, a man for whom any realistic chances of that ever happening died many, many years ago, if they ever existed at all. “You know, when…
Read MoreESPN officially makes White People Running Around In The Yard a sport
As baseball continues to drag through the longest, least eventful part of its season, TV networks are desperate for alternatives to the only major league sport taking place right now. The cable channel recently sent a crew to broadcast a recent game of White People Running Around In The Yard held in Temple Terrace to…
Read MoreAngry God expected to rain out minor league baseball game
God, the revered, reviled, feared, ineffable, unpredictable and misunderstood supreme Christian deity, is very angry that the Tampa Tarpons have a female manager, according to a self-appointed human spokesperson. “The Almighty takes a dim view of this kind of abomination,” said Delores Shtiffy of Seffner, referring to Rachel Balkovec, the first female manager in the…
Read MoreESPN to launch yet another guy screaming hot takes at you show
ESPN, the once self-described “Worldwide Leader in Sports”, is launching yet another show consisting of a man yelling his opinions about the world of sports into a camera “We were going to call it ‘Hot Balls’ or ‘The Crunch Zone’ or ‘Crunch Balls’ or something like that”, said ESPN regional producer Curtis Teebox. “But I’m…
Read MoreOp-ed: Athletes are ruining athletics
(EDITORS NOTE: Our focus here at Tampa News Force is to provide top-notch quality news coverage by award-winning journalists on topics of specific interest to the Tampa Bay Area. However occasionally a controversial subject beyond that scope demands attention and one of our readers offers us a shit-ton of money for the opportunity to utilize…
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