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St. Pete man hung up on ethnic origin of Fibonacci sequence

Fibonacci

Ted Henderson, a student majoring in Economics at Eckerd College in St. Petersburg was recently thrown off track by something that came up in one of his classes and he has not been able to resolve it or move on from it. “I just don’t know what to think,” he said. “This changes everything.” The…

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Top 5 Places In Tampa Bay To Be Buried Alive

Buried

For many people, being buried alive is their most terrifying nightmare, a fate worse than death that eventually results in death. We wouldn’t wish that on anyone, just like how no one would wish it on themselves. But hey, it could happen to any of us and if it did, wouldn’t it be a good…

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St. Pete man’s correct usage of current slang annoys granddaughter

Grandpa

16-year-old Megyn Morton of St. Petersburg finds herself in an almost constant state of aggravation because of her grandfather Henry “Hank” Morton’s accurate usage of currently relevant slang terminology. “About a month ago, my parents bought him an iPhone 13, which is newer than my iPhone 10, by the way,” she said. “The idea was…

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7′ man rejected by Tampa Bay panhandler community

Seven footer

Dennis Smeeks, a 7′ tall homeless man currently in Tampa, is not being accepted by local panhandlers due to his height. “Dolph or Dirk or whatever his name needs to get the hell out of here and go back to the NBA where he belongs,” said veteran panhandler Johnny America. “He has no business out…

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Both St. Pete mayoral candidates are huge cowards

Ken Welch and Robert Blackmon are the final two candidates for the November 2nd general election that will eventually seat the next mayor of St. Petersburg, and while they may have different ideas about how best to fulfill that obligation, they both share the distinction of being huge cowards. Three weeks ago, Tampa News Force…

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Protestors seek to cancel Grand Prix

Grand Prix of St. Petersburg

A group of protestors attempted to disrupt Indy Pro 2000 qualifying at the Firestone Grand Prix of St. Petersburg this morning in an attempt to get the event cancelled. “We’re huge fans of Indy racing itself but the name of the race is highly offensive”, said Thad Talbert of St. Pete. “We just want to…

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Mayor Kriseman asks protesters to utilize ‘call ahead’ seating

Protesters

As protests continue in St. Petersburg, with more expected this weekend, Mayor Rick Kriseman is taking steps to lower tensions and minimize unpleasant confrontations between diners, protesters and counter-protesters. “It’s perfectly understandable that people are outraged by the ongoing systemic racism in our society, as most recently evidenced by the outcome of the trial of…

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