Retention pond full of gators excited to welcome new homeowners

A group of gators that live in a newly formed retention pond were initially concerned with an influx of new residents in what used to be their swamp land.

“We miss all the space we used to have, but now there’s more late night food options,” said the hungry gator that lives in the new Lutz subdivision, Serenity Ponds. “Our family has lived here for generations and we were concerned that all the construction would push us out, but we were left with this pond that northerners think is a natural spring.”

The Serenity Ponds Homeowners Association has warned guest not to let their children play in the retention pond.

“We see the signs, but that doesn’t mean anything to us.” Said Fredlick Pisserd, a new resident to Florida. “I sold my home up North for over a million dollars, and now I’m living like a king 40 minutes away from beautiful Tampa, FL.”

As part of the new living situation, Pisserd has to drive 20 minutes just to exit the community, and then drive in stop and go traffic on a congested 8-lane street surface highway to accomplish any errand.

“Thankfully I work from home, and I homeschool my children so we don’t ever have to leave,” said Pisserd. “And playing in the retention pond allows my children to get closer to the animals in ways that would not be allowed at the zoo.”

After this interview, Pisserd went to fight a gator that had begun dragging his child into the retention pond.

The child was eaten by the gators and they slept really good that night.

“Most people complain about all the new residents, but I don’t mind them,” said the hungry gator after licking his lips.