Lines Painted On Ground Don’t Mean Anything

Strange marks spray painted at various locations on Tampa streets have been determined to be nothing more than graffiti.

Jon Iverson, the city’s Supervisor of Streets, Sidewalks, Bike Lanes But Not Avenues For Some Reason, said, “I know people assume those markings served some sort of purpose, like measurements for an upcoming repair project or something. I know that because we at City Hall thought so too.”

“Turns out, nope. Just nonsense. They’re basically urban crop circles.”

Officials with the city discovered the elaborate prank when a curious police officer saw a man making the marks with orange spray paint on the sidewalk in front of Planet Smoothie on Grand Central Avenue.

“The officer asked him what he was doing, the guy said ‘nothing’, the officer asked why and the guy just shrugged and kept painting,” said Iverson. “I couldn’t immediately go check it out for myself because that’s an avenue but it was the sidewalk so after four meetings it was determined that I COULD go over there. And it was just some guy who likes painting weird marks on the ground. Pretty harmless and there’s no specific law against it so it’s whatever.”

“The good news is residents and visitors don’t have to worry about any bothersome improvement projects taking place,” he added. “Our streets and sidewalks will remain as treacherous as ever.””