Tampa Man Declares “Tornadoes Aren’t Real”

Richard Plubbs, a 68-year-old man eating a late breakfast at Mom’s Place at 4816 N. Dale Mabry in Tampa earlier this afternoon, claims that tornadoes are a false construct.

Following an emergency text delivered to all cell phones on site at 12:57pm, declaring an imminent tornado warning and advising recipients to take immediate shelter, two Hillsborough County fire engines with lights and sirens engaged drove past the restaurant, inciting a slight sense of panic among staff and patrons, who began discussing what actions should be taken.

Annoyed, Plubbs shouted “TORNADOES AREN’T REAL!” He then added, “Now can I get a goddamn refill on this coffee or not?”

”We didn’t get hit by a tornado, so I guess he’s right,” said Alexis, a server at the eatery, once the warning expired at 1:15.

Plubbs did get a goddamn refill on his coffee.