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Woman leaves devastating Yelp! review, based entirely on music played on jukebox

Jukebox Yelp

Gwyneth Poltroon of St. Petersburg recently left an absolutely scathing review of a local restaurant on Yelp, the web site and app that publishes crowd-sourced reviews about businesses. Poltroon recently visited Shucksters, a popular seafood restaurant in Gulfport and was extremely displeased with the music being played on the TouchTunes jukebox. “If I could give…

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Surly barista hates serving your dog

Surly Barista

19-year-old Caroline Schwartz of Temple Terrace hates everything about her job at Starbucks, but really hates having to make ‘pup cups’ for patrons who have dogs. “It’s bad enough that I have to do what people tell me, like, they’re better than me and I have to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ because I’m paid…

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Cracker Barrel caught force-feeding “Woke” agenda to conservative patrons via fake meat

Cracker Barrel

Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, Inc., commonly known as simply Cracker Barrel, the American chain of restaurant and gift stores which features a Southern country theme and serves as a bastion of extreme left-wing politics, has recently added so-called “Impossible” sausage, a plant-based protein meat substitute to their menu, meaning everyone who dines there has…

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No winners declared at last night’s BKFC event

BKFC

Following the Burger King Fighting Challenge that occurred last night at the Burger King at 7450 E. Hillsborough in Tampa, the location’s manager said that there were no winners. “It’s safe to say nobody won”, Keith Dunkirk said. “Because they were all losers.” “For starters, the brawl began when a customer got fries instead of…

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Uber Eats order receiver expects to be tipped

Uber Eats

Henry Gzzrnrsh of St. Petersburg frequently receives Uber Eats deliveries on behalf of his co-workers and is miffed that he is rarely offered a gratuity for the service he provides. “Granted, I didn’t make the food or even pick it up from where it came from. But if not for me, it would sit there…

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Former Cerealholic employee disappointed with Bar Rescue

Cerealholic

Caleb Kyleston, a former employee of Cerealholic (now The Loft) in Ybor City is not happy with the results from the TV show Bar Rescue’s effort to revitalize the establishment. “When I found out the show was coming to Ybor to turn the place around, I thought, ‘Okay, this could be really something great’ and…

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Abortion bar opens in Seminole Heights

Abortion Bar

A new establishment in South Seminole Heights named “Suckers” has opened, touting its option for woman to receive an abortion while they have a drink at the bar. “The ladies sit right at the counter, and while they enjoy one of our fresh squeezed alcoholic daiquiris, below the counter we have certified medical professionals sucking…

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New restaurant for singles opening soon in Brandon

Lonely's

A new chain of restaurants is opening their first location in Brandon, Florida, because that’s where every chain of restaurants opens new locations for some reason. Lonely’s is a new concept eatery, catering exclusively to people who are alone, whether by choice or not. It will serve a menu with a wide variety of top-quality…

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Fly Bar + Restaurant offers exclusive dining area for local media

Fly Bar

On a recent Saturday night, the executive and editorial board of Tampa News Force, Tampa Bay’s only media outlet dedicated to mocking people and places that deserve to be mocked, visited Fly Bar + Restaurant in Tampa to drink, dine and discuss important business like how great we are at mocking people and places, especially…

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