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This week’s public school lunch menus


As a public service to the millions of parents to school-age children in the Tampa Bay region who read our site every single day, Tampa News Force proudly presents what the kids will be eating for lunch at school this week. You know, for planning purposes. Enjoy! CITRUS COUNTY Monday, October 3: Tater Thots Tuesday,…

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School resource officer shoots kid reading gay book

Gay Book

A second grader is in critical condition today after being shot by his school resource officer while reading Lesléa Newman’s 1989 classic picture book ‘Heather Has Two Mommies’. “I was patrolling the library and saw the gay book,” said officer Frank Johnnie. “At first I was just trying to shoot the book, but the kid…

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Sarasota author has book on how to ban books banned


Reverend Rufus Queefleton of Sarasota is dismayed to learn that the book he recently published to help people learn how to ban books has been banned in libraries and public schools in Florida. “This is outrageous!” he said. “It’s a book on how to ban books. The title is “How To Ban Books”. How are…

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Desperate Florida schools turn to student teachers


Florida schools are facing a major staffing crisis, with over a thousand unfilled positions in Hillsborough County alone, where the school year began yesterday. As a result, they are turning to the school’s students themselves as a last resort. “We tried to recruit unqualified military veterans. That didn’t work. We’ve tried everything, every possible option,”…

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10 sex positions guaranteed to ruin your relationship

Sex Positions

WARNING: This article contains explicit language some may not find suitable for children, so if you’re reading the daily TNF articles to your children, now would be the time to skip this one, and let them watch TV for a few moments while you read this on your own. Sex is a very powerful intimate…

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CBD water fountains installed in schools to “chill kids out”


Special water fountains which infuse CBD into the water have been installed around Tampa schools with the goal to “chill the kids out” according to a memo that was passed around the Hillsborough County school board office. “The kids have been weird and annoying since the pandemic so we’re going to dose them without their…

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Joe Rogan to Lecture on Quantum Physics at USF

Joe Rogan

Tampa, FL—Joseph Robinette Rogan recently announced that he will be spending the next year as a visiting lecturer of Physics at the University of South Florida. His new comments about Einstein localities and hidden variables have brought controversy to the new hire.  “Listen, man, what I care about are Einstein localities. Have you heard about…

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USF loses accreditation after live bull incident

The University of South Florida has lost its accreditation after an accident involving a live bull took place on their campus during school spirit week. A live 500-pound Cuban bull was released into the Ronald M. Donald cafeteria on Tuesday, which wreaked havoc and caused millions of dollars in damage. It went on a rampage…

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