Posts Tagged ‘Boat Parade’
Display of rich people’s toys thrills Tampa poor people
Tampa’s annual holiday lighted boat parade took place last night on the Hillsborough River, featuring wealthy people showing off what they use to enjoy one of their many expensive leisure pursuits to the delight of people who are one paycheck or less from being homeless. “They’re so pretty, all lit up with beautiful Christmas lights!…
Read MoreHurricanes Ian and Nicole celebrate successful hurricane season with boat parade
Two tropical storms that impacted the Tampa Bay Area in 2022 celebrated the November 30 completion of hurricane season by participating in a victory boat parade in Garrison Channel yesterday. “They said Tampa Bay had no shot. They counted you all out yet again. They say that every year!” said Hurricane Ian, the deadliest hurricane…
Read MoreGarrison Channel fish is sad that Lightning won’t three-peat
A fish that lives in Garrison Channel behind Amalie Arena is very disappointed to learn that the Tampa Bay Lightning lost 2-1 to the Colorado Avalanche in Game 6 of the 2022 Stanley Cup Final Sunday night, ending their championship winning streak at two. “No b-b-b-b-b-b-b-boat parade?”, it asked in bubble language. “Golly. That’s sad.”…
Read MoreArms dealers celebrate another successful year with boat parade
In what has become a new Tampa Bay tradition, some of the world’s billion dollar corporations that manufacture and sell weapons systems to equip the brave men and women who protect our country by serving as troops in the military, as well as troops from any other countries with an established line of credit, held…
Read MoreOutkast’s Big Boi working as usher at Amalie Arena
Antwon “Big Boi” Patton, half of the influential hip hop duo Outkast has been spotted working events at Amalie Arena in downtown Tampa as an usher. “Not for much longer, though,” he said, as he assisted patrons in finding their seats at the recent Jimmy Buffett concert held there. “Once I finish paying off this…
Read MoreTampa Bay Lightning win third Stanley Cup; officially not cute anymore
The Tampa Bay Lightning have won the 2021 Stanley Cup, with a 1-0 win over the Montreal Canadiens in Game 5 of the Final, to win the best-of-seven series four games to one. It’s the third time in the franchise’s history being crowned champions of the National Hockey League and the sports world has decided…
Read MoreTampa boy conquers bed-wetting problem, gets boat parade
8-year-old Kyle Veeters of Tampa has finally overcome a severe nocturnal enuresis issue he’s been dealing with his whole life – until very recently. “We’re so proud of Kyle”, said his mother Beverly Veeters. “He was a big boy and went three nights in a row with no pee-pee accidents!” Kyle’s father Tim expressed relief…
Read MoreLIVE: Trump Boat Parade in Clearwater Breaks Record for Most Closeted Homosexuals
Hundreds of boat owners descended on Clearwater Beach today for the biggest gathering of closeted homosexuals who support president Trump. “We needed 1,180 boat owners who haven’t come out of the closet today,” said event organizer Shuck Pipk. “We have well over a dozen more than what we need.” Pipk then tossed me a White…
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