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Tampa man can’t shake nagging feeling he’s forgotten something

Lonely Drinker

A sales associate for Boost Mobile in Tampa is positive he’s forgotten something important pertaining to Christmas, but hasn’t been able to figure out what it might be. “It’s driving me crazy”, Joe Banjoe said, sitting alone at Hattrick’s in downtown Tampa. “I just can’t put my finger on what it is.” “I don’t think…

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Governor DeSantis shows up late for tree lighting in Ybor

DeSantis in Ybor

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis showed up very early this morning in Ybor City to participate in the 10th annual holiday tree lightning ceremony, which took place over two weeks ago. “I kind of wanted to avoid the crowd”, he said. “Plus, showing up fashionably late is something that’s cool to do.” The event was presented…

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Mom’s good intentions wreck Christmas


In an effort to make this Christmas special for her three small children, daughter Daphne and twin sons Ryan and Bryan, Amy Flincher of St. Petersburg has inadvertently ruined the holiday for them. “This Christmas?? I’m worried they’re going to need therapy for the rest of their lives”, she said, distraught. “I am so bad…

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Tampa News Force official 2020 holiday gift guide

Happy Black Friday! In order to help you shop for gifts this year, we’ve enlisted the help of Vixxxie the TNElf, and her stupid boyfriend Brad, who have gathered a selection of items for sale from some of Tampa Bay’s best comedians. “Hi everyone! I’m Vixxxie the TNElf and I’ve found some just wonderful products…

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Shoppers brawl over holiday decorations at Tampa CVS

A huge fight between a number of shoppers erupted yesterday at the CVS drug store at 6701 N. Dale Mabry, over which holiday decorations are appropriate to put on sale at this time of year and a complete inability to mind their own business. It began when two women entered the store and immediately encountered…

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Area felines declare war on Christmas

Cat's declare war on christmas

“Ok, I give up! The Christmas tree stays down!” I shouted at my cats, who couldn’t be bothered to give a flying fuck. This is the 17th time they’ve knocked down the Christmas tree since I put it up Black Friday. I didn’t even put the ornaments on the fake spruce before this band of…

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