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Rick Scott visited by 300 million ghosts

Rick Scrooge

Senator Rick Scott of Florida experienced an unsettling Christmas Eve, as he was visited by some 300 million ghosts, each representing a dollar he stole from Medicare while CEO of Columbia/HCA Healthcare Corp. “BooOOOoooOOoo! I’m a ghost but could have been so much more; I could have gone to pay for someone’s medical treatment!!”, said…

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Tampa dog approves of Christmas

Christmas Dog

Piccolo, a Corgi who lives near Oldsmar, has decided that Christmas is pretty good. “I can’t speak for all dogs, but I think it’s nice”, he said. “I know some dogs hate wearing the goofy outfits and that there is a lot of noise and commotion, which can cause anxiety. I get that and I…

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Low-level employee attends wrong company holiday party

Holiday Party

Due to being included in a group email by mistake, Mike Clunbgh, a shipping clerk for United Business System Analysis Coordinators, Inc. in Tampa, attended the wrong employee holiday party Saturday night. “Right company, but definitely the wrong party actually,” said Clunbgh. “Jennifer is the one who sent out the email. I guess she should…

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Tampa News Force official 2021 holiday gift guide

Gifts

It’s holiday season once again, when you disappoint your loved ones with the things you buy for them instead of your actions and life choices, like the rest of the time. In an ultimately futile effort to minimize the damage you’re going to incur/cause, we proudly present the 2021 edition of the Tampa News Force…

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Tampa man can’t shake nagging feeling he’s forgotten something

Lonely Drinker

A sales associate for Boost Mobile in Tampa is positive he’s forgotten something important pertaining to Christmas, but hasn’t been able to figure out what it might be. “It’s driving me crazy”, Joe Banjoe said, sitting alone at Hattrick’s in downtown Tampa. “I just can’t put my finger on what it is.” “I don’t think…

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Governor DeSantis shows up late for tree lighting in Ybor

DeSantis in Ybor

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis showed up very early this morning in Ybor City to participate in the 10th annual holiday tree lightning ceremony, which took place over two weeks ago. “I kind of wanted to avoid the crowd”, he said. “Plus, showing up fashionably late is something that’s cool to do.” The event was presented…

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