Posts Tagged ‘covid florida’
Top 5 Reasons You Don’t Need to Worry About Monkeypox
You’ve probably been hearing a lot lately about something called “monkeypox” as the next big thing you need to be afraid of. Monkeypox is a rare disease caused by infection with the monkeypox virus. Monkeypox virus belongs to the Orthopoxvirus genus in the family Poxviridae. What it also is, is something you don’t really need to worry about…
Read MoreInfluenza pissed at several local Tampa Bay attorneys and parents, and some Uncles
Florida Judge John Cooper, ruled in favor of several prominent Tampa Bay Area attorneys and parents who filed a lawsuit challenging Governor Ron DeSantis’ ban on mask mandates in schools. DeSantis already promises to appeal the ruling, but globally known tyrant Influenza may be most upset with the outcome. “I can’t believe another year is slipping…
Read MoreGovernor DeSantis’ handpicked panel of experts completely agrees with Governor DeSantis
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis held a public health roundtable in Tampa Thursday afternoon, where he invited a panel of scientists, researchers, doctors and various experts to weigh in on issues surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic, all of whom agreed that DeSantis has done a terrific job dealing with the pandemic. “Huh. How about that”, said DeSantis.…
Read MoreMan’s face shield makes dozens sick at Tampa Publix
Hillsborough County health officials have determined that Instacart shopper Matt Spuiz is responsible for making several people shopping for groceries at the Publix on West Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa violently ill, in spite of wearing a face shield. “It’s because of the face shield, not in spite of it”, said Dr. Meghan Hammerstein. “Speaking strictly…
Read MoreCOVID test numbers expected to plummet to record lows in Tampa this weekend
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is reporting that projections indicate that there will be zero positive COVID-19 test results from Tampa between now and the end of the Christmas weekend, which he is giddily touting as a Christmas Miracle. “It’s a Christmas Miracle!”, he touted giddily at a hastily arranged press conference on Dale Mabry Highway,…
Read MoreRon DeSantis sends get well wishes to Rick Scott
Following the announcement that Senator Rick Scott has tested positive for having Covid-19, Florida Governor has sent his predecessor a hand-written get well card. “It’s no secret that Rick and I have had our differences,” said DeSantis. “But President Trump is always reminding me that he’s a colleague and a good fellow Republican, so I…
Read MoreCoronavirus dies from Coronavirus
“I know you’re not supposed to celebrate a death,” said Tampa resident Brenner Yuletide, “But I’ve got to say, I’m happy this mean SOB is dead!” Yuletide continued.
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