Posts Tagged ‘David Straz’
David Straz: “I bought Tampa News Force, what more do you people want?”
There’s an old gambling term known as “the hole”. It’s when some degenerate addicted to the endorphin rush realizes he’s so deep in the hole and blown enough money that the only option is to keep going, hit after hit and pray that sooner or later it will work out. Unfortunately it usually ends poorly.…
Read MoreDavid Straz turns out to be “Shadow Owner” of Tampa News Force
Tampa News Force Headquarters – Uptown Tampa – Tuesday, 4.23.2019 “That’s right Tampa, my name is David Straz, you know, from the Straz building, and I’m here to officially announce that I’ve been pulling the strings over at Tampa News Force for year(s) now!” I was totally blown away by the fact that I never…
Read MoreEditorial: David Straz the candidate for Tampa as the prophecy foretold
Tampa News Force Headquarters – Hillsborough County – Tuesday 4.23.2019 Archeologists have discovered ancient scrolls at the Jackson House site in Downtown Tampa which described the coming of a rich businessman who will lead the city by the Bay to claim the title of the the next ‘Great City in America’ . “I’m not one…
Read MoreJane Castor and David Straz Secretly the Same Person
Blake High School – Hillsborough County – Monday 4.22.2019 The race for mayor has taken a shocking and dark turn. After a 3 month investigation, Tampa News Force has discovered that the two remaining candidates for mayor are in fact the exact same person. The elaborate ruse was perpetrated by retired magician and comedic improviser…
Read MoreStraz Challenges Castor’s Law Enforcement Initiative
Straz Center of the Performing Arts – Hillsborough County – Wednesday 4.17.2019 Following yesterday’s announcement from Tampa mayoral candidate Jane Castor that she will add the ED 209 to the city’s crime fighting arsenal if elected, her opponent David Straz is firing back. “Once again we see that woman can not be trusted to play…
Read MoreDavid Straz campaign accidentally changes slogan to ‘How much money do you fuckboys want?’
Downtown Tampa – Hillsborough County – Monday 3.18.2019 While the Tampa mayoral runoff is still weeks away, candidate David Straz has received some swift criticism for a small error that led to accidentally changing the slogan to his campaign. “We don’t know who changed it, or why it said that when we printed it,” says…
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