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Tampa man committed to knowing just one nutritional fact

Corn

Randy Borgwartz of Tampa has lived almost his entire life knowing and believing exactly one fundamental truth about nutrition… “Corn is a grain, not a vegetable,” he said. “This is an inarguable fact.” Mrs. Maggie Crumsnot, a retired lunch lady from Gorrie Elementary School said, “Oh yeah, I remember that little shit. Starting in 3rd…

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Academy of Motion Pictures replaces Will Smith with Tampa pornographer

Local Porn

Local pornographer Scummo Johannsen has been granted membership to the prestigious Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the organization that presents the Oscar Awards every year, due to Will Smith resigning his membership. Johannsen, who produces low-budget porn that he shoots in a rented self-storage unit on Waters Avenue with local amateur performers, expressed…

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Tampa News Force writer to star as Fred Mertz in ‘I Love Fred’

Fred Mertz

It was announced Friday that Clark Brooks, a writer and Senior Supreme Executive Premium Content Editor for Tampa News Force, will star as Fred Mertz in ‘I Love Fred’, a movie based on the supporting character played by William Frawley from the 1950s sitcom ‘I Love Lucy’, starring Lucille Ball. The movie will be co-directed…

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Netflix to release new Shaq film

Kazaamilton

Netflix has announced that a new film starring NBA Hall of Famer and TNT commentator Shaquille O’Neal is currently being filmed in Tampa and will be available on the video streaming giant’s platform soon.

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TNF presents “Jesus Talks”

Jesus Talks

Fresh off last night’s premiere of Tampa News Force’s fourth film “Jesus Talks”, starring John Jacobs, at the 2021 Dunedin International Film Festival, here’s the film itself in its entirety. Enjoy!! You’ll probably recognize several locations as well as a number of Tampa Bay Area performers in this completely independently produced film, because we’re sincere…

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Local filmmaker wishes his latest masterpiece was Korean

Filmmaker

A Tampa Bay artist who goes by the name ‘Qliquebait’ (“It’s ironic, get it? You probably don’t get it”, he says) is regretting that his latest short film is not Korean. “This Korean director has stolen my thunder”, he says. “Anybody can make the next Harry Potters, superficial feel-good movies designed to please the sheep…

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